Me vs. the elliptical - guess who was the winner?

Today was productive, but yesterday just seemed über productive, so perhaps today was just bound to pale in comparison. Nevertheless, I woke up early without an alarm (8:30 is still early to me, folks), and then did some studying before deciding to hit up yoga and swim after cuz my low back was hurting me like whoa. So, after less than an hour of studying, I took a break. 

Yoga was a bust. This instructor is just okay. There are times when she takes you through flows that just don't flow. I feel like your body should just be able to go with it and the few times I've been to her classes, there are a couple times when you just don't flow. She also shows you how to do a flow once or twice and then instructs you to go at your own pace for the next three flows. Now, if I were brand new to yoga, I'd be completely intimidated by this. It doesn't bother me so much, but because I'm so busy remembering the damn flow, I forget to breathe. And breathing well is like the most important part of yoga. And I thought that going to yoga would help with my low back. Nope. There were poses I couldn't even get into because my low back just wouldn't have it. So, yoga was a major bust.

After yoga, I suited up to go for a swim, but I left my goggles and nose plug thingy in my bag. I did a few little baby laps (without sticking my head underwater) for 10 minutes or so and then hopped out and into the hot tub. I gave myself a water massage...ish. Basically, I planted my ass in front of a jet and just let it pulsate on my low back for 10 minutes. It was awesome. Then I showered at the gym, which was horrifying (WHY WOULD YOU HAVE SEE-THROUGH PARTS OF THE SHOWER CURTAIN AT CHEST LEVEL?) and then promptly dropped my clean underwear in the wet shower as I was getting dressed. But I hurried home and put on a new pair. I think the pool and hot tub will be reserved for weekends as a post-workout treat so that if I do drop my underwear again, I can just go home after ;-)

The rest of the day, my back felt pretty great and I studied a lot. I got really antsy around 4:30 having sat around for the last 5 hours studying, so I opted to go back to the gym. It was that or go stir crazy. I did about 50 minutes on the elliptical. It was awesome. I don't know how or why I had so much energy, but for the first time in forever, I beat the elliptical's calorie counter. Usually when I do the elliptical, the machine's calorie counter is anywhere from 10-50 calories ahead of my heart rate monitor's calorie counter. Now, I was told once that all machine calorie counters are calibrated to a muscley, fit man. So, I usually try to come close with my personal calorie counter on my heart rate monitor. But, today, I was able to keep my heart rate up for most my elliptical experience and I beat the calorie counter by a good 30 calories. Beat that, muscley fit man!

I got home, studied some more, slacked off and watched some Jimmy Fallon and James Corden clips and then got back to studying. I imagine tomorrow will be lots of studying as well. What fun. I am thinking about waking up at 6 to get a tiny bit of studying in before work tomorrow, but sleep is a very important part of my life, so we'll see what time I get to bed before I make such a rash decision.

In other news, I'm going to do a weigh-in tomorrow. Boo. It's going to be bad. But, I've gotta own it so I can make some progress. Here's today's food photos.

Lunch (same as yesterday because it's a damn good sandwich)

Grapes in the afternoon

I was craving pickles today

Made a smoothie to go with dinner

Yum!

Dinner: TJ's mini pepperoni pizza

Evening snack

Not pictured: Luna bar + apple for breakfast, the handful of chocolate chips I munched before the gym, the second snack pickle I ate because yummm, the cheese stick I had post-popcorn because cheese is legit.

I also think I'm going to do a photo a day everyday for a while because I think it'll help motivate me to lose more weight. And because everybody loves selfies. Or at least Kim Kardashian does.

Songs I'm currently obsessed with:

Every time I hear "Shut up and Dance," or "Better When I'm Dancin'" I stop studying and have a little dance party. Any good dance party songs you're listening to lately? Also, Adele! YOU'RE BACK AND YOU'RE STILL AMAZING. 

Welcome to December

"Welcome to December, bitch," said Michigan this morning.

I didn't even leave my apartment until like 11:00 a.m. and it was still only 22°F, which was hotter than the RealFeel my phone gave me at 11°F. Great. But yoga was stifling. I convinced my friend Bekah to come to her first ever yoga class with me and because he's the best instructor, there were a lot of people. So, essentially, we did hot yoga. It felt pretty good. I don't mind sweating, so despite nearly dying of dehydration, I enjoyed myself. I'm also finally able to do forward folds without straining to touch the ground. Baller.

The rest of my afternoon was dedicated to running errands: attempting to return a suitcase (T.J. Maxx said, "No refund for you"), getting a refund for my phone screen from Hell, running to meijer to reload my staples: eggs, granola bars, grapes, and cat things, and picking up my dry cleaning (because unfortunately I own dry clean only items...boo). By the time I returned home, my friend and I decided to hang out at my apartment that evening, so I got my butt into gear and cleaned up a little bit around the apartment before heading out for work out #2: Zumba. There were some new songs in the mix for me since I hadn't been in about 2 weeks, but it was a good sweaty time. I love me some dancing.

I also ate food today, which I do everyday, so applause is not necessary. I stupidly forgot I had been sent home with spaghetti, so today's eats (some of which are pictured below) included the following:

Breakfast: eggs, turkey sausage, grapes

Lunch: Trader Joe's baby pizza that is only 250 calories (WIN)

Snack

And then I forgot I was documenting. So, my other snack was some teddy grahams and dinner was some ham and cheese dip that I whipped up because I magically had all the ingredients bought cream cheese on sale so I could make it because I had all the other ingredients.

Then my pal came over and we watched John Mulaney's stand-up on Netflix, chatted a bit and now here I am!

Tomorrow's plans include: strength training in the AM, cleaning and sorting through my things, getting a hair cut in the afternoon, grabbing a cardio session, half-off sushi with some friends, hanging out in the PM, and blogging so as to keep you entertained! Also, packing because I leave early on Wednesday for more interviews. Packing = no fun which is why I chose not to include it in my original outline of plans.

Night shift = blech

Dude. Nights are rough. Not because of what happens during nights, but because changing your sleep schedule by like 12 hours in one day is not fucking easy. Come 4:00 a.m., I'm super close to falling asleep standing up. Then I just start yawning like it's my job. And then I hope the attendings take pity on me and send me home. That kind of worked for me today. I got sent home at 6:30.

The other thing that's hard about nights is eating. What the fuck do you eat at midnight? Like it's definitely not breakfast time. But it's midnight so lunch feels weird. Most meals I've had at midnight include a lot of grease. And then when you wake up after sleeping after your night shift, what do you eat? Cuz it's mid-afternoon, so breakfast seems weird. But then it's your first meal of the day, so breakfast seems right. Fuck it. I only have two more night shifts this week. I'm just going to do what I want. These are my problems, folks. I realize they're not legitimate problems. Just humor me.

Yesterday, since I didn't make the switch like I tried, I woke up and went to yoga with my all-time favorite yoga instructor, Daniel. He only teaches Mondays 11:30 to 12:30, so I legitimately can never go. And I almost didn't go yesterday, but man, am I glad I went. My hamstrings got all stretched out and my plank...well, I tried. It was just a great workout and I felt awesome after.

Once home, I had some protein (because for me, yoga is strength training) and then made some lunch and headed to get some titers drawn. After getting some wrong information from the people at employee's health, I had to take a considerably longer bike ride to occupational health and wait FOREVER and finally got the titers I needed. I also had to bike up the big ass hill that's downtown. It was a struggle. And probably a good work out...?

Then I napped and headed to work. Work was work. One of the attendings who works until midnight was a great teacher. The one who works midnight to 8 - not so into teaching. Boo. But then I got to leave early and head to bed!

I woke up around 1:30, ate some breakfast, and ordered some new shoes (the ones I legitimately wear everyday are so old (like 7 years) and they just can't do it anymore). I hydrated as much as possible before hitting up the gym for strength training. It was a great day of strength training because it was beautiful outside (and the gym is like all windows), because it wasn't crowded at all, and because I added quite a few reps and weights from when I first started. So, boo yeah.

And now I'm going to study before heading to work.

Today's positive (that I keep forgetting about): Yesterday, I finally pumped up my bike tires and took her out for a spin rather than driving. Saved some gas and got a bit more exercise. Win, win, win.

And here are the photos that y'all really want:

Monday's breakfast

Hydrating with some crystal light

Protein smoothie post-yoga

Epic sandwich fixings

Monday's lunch

My bike

What I was expecting to be one meal for overnight (I didn't end up eating it)

Dinner before my night shift

Salad I packed while dinner was cooling

Monday's dinner

More fruit that I didn't actually eat overnight

Tuesday's pre-gym breakfast

Post-strength training protein

Cheese snack

See y'all tomorrow!

The trappings of guilt

This morning I didn't want to go to the gym. I had a lot to do in terms of work for the day and I had a three hour session that I was required to attend at school. So I told myself I wouldn't go and that would be just fine. Then the guilt kicked in, so I texted some friends and made plans to go to yoga in the evening. I needed some accountability and I knew I wouldn't go to the gym unless I made it an obligation. And yeah, yoga isn't quite the same type of workout as my hour-long strength training routine, buuut, it was still a workout and I still made myself go to the gym. Boom. Done. Win.

Today was a lousy day otherwise. Mostly because I've been averaging 5-6 hours of sleep a night since Sunday and I'm just exhausted. Plus Nasur and I didn't end up talking (I'm not entirely sure why) and I spent a while making sweet potato fries and they turned out lousy. Like so lousy I didn't even want to eat the. That's saying something.

My focus has been a bit off and so I'm going to head to bed shortly to get a solid 8ish hours before tomorrow. Then it'll be back to studying my butt off. I've made plans to hit up Tim Horton's after school (their restaurant is open 24 hours so we won't get kicked out at 9:30 like we do when we go to Panera) and I plan on studying there until 11ish, then running to meijer next door to do some grocery shopping before I call it a night. Also, I'm going to get a donut because dang it, donuts are awesome and studying sucks.

Oh, and for those of you who are curious, I'm pretty sure I only swore once today. Already better than yesterday! And sorry for the lack of photos. I took some, but I'm being lazy and don't feel like uploading them. But, I did find this entertaining, so hopefully that'll make up for the lack of photos (note: it reassures me that I will not be dying alone).

Physical prowess

So falling asleep last night was stupid. Like 2.5 hours of stupid. Seriously. My body can't turn off the worry. I read until my eyes are tired and then I still can't sleep. So what was going to be a restful 7ish hours of sleep turned into a not-so-restful 4.5 hours. Booo.

Anywho, today we had our epidemiology (it's formally called biostatistics, but whatevers) exam. I really like math and statistics, so I wasn't too worried about the exam. I did just fine and left after about an hour (though we were allotted 3). I hit up the gym and was feeling all good about myself. Then I got home and watched the lecture I skipped and now I'm in the midst of doing some pharmacology. But, the excitement doesn't stop there.

So, one of my favorite yoga instructors (Daniel) told us last week that doing head stands improves your ability to focus. He didn't know why, but he'd heard that. So, I decided to do some headstands at home. Obviously, I still had to use a wall, but I was pumped that I could do it. Then I decided to try my hand at shoulder stands because in class, I usually don't even try to do them (mostly because they look hard, but also because I've never been taught). So, I figured out how to get into the pose and then played around with it. After that, I figured, why not try doing a bridge/back bend (since I've always been to scared to try that in class)? Bam. Was able to do that too. What up?!

So, basically, today was awesome because of my physical prowess. Passing epidemiology with a pretty legit score? Who cares? 

Umm, I lied...?

When I said I'd be blogging here everyday, I mostly meant that I'd be blogging here as much as I wanted to/had time to/sorry I lied.

So, now that that's off my chest, I probably should tell you that committing to blog more during finals season is just dumb. I had an exam this morning and though I could have been more productive and blogged yesterday, I didn't. But what I did do was make two gym trips: cardio in the morning and yoga in the evening. I had the same yoga instructor I had on Saturday. Her name was Lauren and I've never had her before. She was a big fan of lunges yesterday and oh man, my quads were not a fan of her by the end. But I did like how she came around and adjusted people in their poses. I only got adjusted once, but I appreciate instructors who make sure you're feeling the right thing and actually getting something out of it. And my hamstrings and hips really opened up during that session, so I'm glad I went. That being said, Daniel is still my favorite.

Anywho, I'm coordinating a scrub drive at my school for my trip back to Uganda and found out about a great organization right in Grand Rapids that donates medical supplies to developing countries. It's called Rays of Hope. If you find yourself with a little change to spare this holiday, please donate to them! I'm heading there on Saturday to pick out some things to take to the hospital in Uganda to help them out maybe just a little bit. And the best thing about Rays of Hope is that they'll give these medical supplies to me all completely free! That's huge! And so, so awesome.

And update on where I am fitness-wise. Well, I ate a lot of peanut butter today and never really had a proper meal - it was just snacking when I got hungry due to today's pretty hectic schedule. I also didn't make it to the gym due to today's schedule (exam, two hours of lecture, orthodontist appointment, required presentation about my refugee family I've been helping), but I'll be heading there nice and early tomorrow morning!

Catch you guys later!

So much pressure

I put a lot of pressure on myself and rarely give myself credit. I'm sure a lot of people do. Well, I know a lot of people do, because I know a lot of those people. Anyway, I say this because I think that's one of the reasons I have a hard time losing weight. I set myself up for failure by being really extreme and really hard on myself. Like, if I slip up just once, the world is ending. If I miss a work out, I get really down on myself. It's ridiculous.

But for some reason, when these things happen, I can't just think to myself, "Danika. You're in medical school. You've got a lot on your plate and you're still making time to be healthy. Good work. Don't freak out when you slip up once."

Normally, it goes something like this: "Danika. Seriously? You couldn't wake up just a little bit earlier to go do some cardio? You couldn't say no to that slice of pizza? You're never going to lose weight. It's like you don't even want to." And then I go and either eat a bunch more food I don't need (because if I've already failed, why not really fail?) or I just go to bed and tell myself I'll do better tomorrow.

It's stupid. It's annoying. And it happens a lot. I'm working on it.

On a happier note, I've already ellipticaled this morning and shortly, I'll be heading back to the gym to do yoga with my favorite yoga instructor. What up, two gym trips in one day!?

Anywho, I've gotta go study. Here's a pic of what I gobbled down as I was writing this:

Today's breakfast

Why I love yoga

It's been a little over a month since I started yoga. And let me say, it's official: I love it. I love it because even though you're in a class with people of all different levels, the instructors give you modifications so that you do what your body's comfortable with. I love it because I really think the stretching and toning has helped me with my knee issues. I love it because I've stretched muscles that I honestly don't know if I've ever stretched before. And I love it because I can tell that I've made progress.


Today was my last Monday doing yoga before I leave for Africa. I went to my favorite instructor's class. His class is always super full. Today was no different, but I've learned to get there early to grab a good spot. After the class, he came up to me and told me that I am a gym diva. I laughed and asked why. He said it's because he sees me at the gym all the time. I told him that I'm trying to lose weight and be healthier. He said he can tell I've made progress. I thanked him for his class and told him I'd see him again in a few months after I came back from Africa. Also, wow. It's really crazy how a good instructor can make such a difference.


After yoga, I hit up the treadmill for a run and took it at an even faster pace - 5.3mph. And I didn't feel like dying. Granted, I was super excited when it was over, but see? I'm making progress.


Also, I am so, so so excited to share this with, internet besties. Today I got an e-mail saying that I'd won a free gym starter membership (valued at $200!!!) at this local gym that only does crossfit. What's crossfit, you ask? Well, here's wikipedia's answer. Basically, from all the testimonials I've heard, it's a great, great way to shed some pounds, build some muscle and really challenge yourself. Oh, and make new friends. I e-mailed the woman who told me I'd won and she is absolutely cool with me starting when I get back from Africa. Woo hoo!


Anywho, I just finished packing up food for tomorrow. I was at school until a little after 10:00 p.m. today and am certain it will be just as long (if not longer) tomorrow. So, off I go.

Friday night in a basement

Right now, I am chilling in my basement. Please see below basement photo:

I'm doing my laundry. On a Friday night. Because I'm lame. Also, because I would rather do laundry tonight than tomorrow when I should be spending time at school learning more drugs. Woo...


Anywho, I just wanted to do a brief update since this week was insane. Mostly because we had an intense pharmacology exam on Wednesday and a not-as-intense exam this morning. And next week, we have two pretty intense ones. So, you are forewarned: posting will not be regular. You know, like it pretty much always is.


Okay. To the actual point of this entry (because I always have a point when I blog...). This June Challenge is really helping me get my butt to the gym. I would say that more than half the days this week, I really, really didn't want to go to the gym. I told myself I didn't have enough time or that I should spend that time studying or whatever. But, because it's the June Challenge and I told myself I'd go every single day, I had to go every single day. Yeah. Betcha you couldn't have figured that out without me spelling it out for you. You're welcome.


I think my running form is getting better. My knees don't seem to hate me so much for running, but after yoga on Monday (with so many lunges), they were not a fan. It was one of those take-the-maximum-dose-of-ibuprofen-every-four-hours-on-the-hour nights so that I could fall asleep that night and the next day so the inflammation in my knees would go down. It's mostly the right one that's giving me issues. My left one is supposedly the one that is misaligned more, but the right one sucks the most. Go figure.


Anyway, yoga yesterday was so, so hard. The instructor was all, "Let's do planks all hour long!" I mean, not really. But that's how it felt. I was struggling majorly to do them and after the third or so rotation, I was lame and did them on my knees, which is a beginner's plank. But whatever. My core was all, "You are totally a beginner right now." So, that was that. At least I went.

Knee plank: Source

And I must say, it was a pretty good workout for my poor hamstrings, which were so, so tight it was ridiculous. I blame the lunges from Monday. I'm pretty sure they're unrelated, but I'm blaming them anyway.


My eating has been pretty legit, though I'm not going to lie - I haven't been logging everything. Nor have I been taking photos. Although the lack of photos is mostly because I misplaced my camera. Don't worry, I found it again. I'll take some pictures tomorrow.


And the no dessert/no alcohol thing wasn't as much of an issue this week as it was last week when I was PMSing like crazy and all I wanted to do was eat all the foods.


Well, that's pretty much all I've got. Tomorrow I'm hitting up a class at the Y called Total Body Sculpt with some friends. It targets all the major muscle groups which means that lifting today was probably not such a hot idea (you're not supposed to work the same muscle groups two days in a row because they need to rest), but my biceps are tiny and I want them to be bigger. So I guess I'll be hurting and it'll be my own fault. Per usual.


Alright - I'm going to watch some more lectures whilst my clothes dry. I've got one more load that needs to dry so tonight is going to be a pretty late night, buuuut at least it will have been somewhat productive.

Better ending to an anxious day

Would you look at all this blogging I'm doing? Before I know it, internet besties, I'm going to win some blogging award in addition to an award for being the best medical student. Ha. Right. I kid, I kid.


Today started out so, so stressful. How stressful? Stressful to the max. Think of the most stressed you've ever been. Multiply that by 10. Add a sense of impending doom and that's what I woke up to this morning. It's also what I fell asleep to last night...err, this morning...? Whatever. It was a rough start to the day. But, it's ending much better despite the fact that I'm still at school.


What made it end better, asks you/my internet bestie. Well, first of all, I got in a pretty legit work out. I did a little over a mile (as per the June Challenge rules) and I did it a tad faster than last week. Why? Because when I started running today it didn't seem fast enough. I know, I know: who am I!? Right after my run, I headed to yoga where we did a shit ton (a scientific unit that you may be familiar with) of lunges. We also did some forward bends, which are exactly like they sound. You bend forward and try to touch your toes. Well, internet bestie, I can finally touch the ground rather than struggling to reach my toes. What up, flexibility!? I mean, there were definitely still some poses I struggled with, but my planks are getting better and my hamstrings are getting ridiculously stretched. However, the pyramids today killed me - my hamstrings can't stretch that much after sitting on my ass all day.

Forward bend: Source

Pyramid pose: Source

Anywho, I'm off to memorize more drugs. I'm trying to decide when I'm going to hit the gym tomorrow. I think I may just do it first thing in the morning so I can spend all day at school: what fun!

Yoga

So I totally could have gone to the gym this morning. I was up at 6:30 and everything. But then I went back to bed until 8. Why? Because I wanted to. That, and because I knew I'd be going to the gym later tonight for some yoga.


Anywho, after a rushed breakfast, I headed to school at 9 and studied until 5ish. Then I came home, ate some dinner, relaxed a bit, and then headed to yoga. There were about 7 of my friends from school there, which made it both more comfortable and more uncomfortable. I was more comfortable because there were several people there who hadn't had much yoga experience either. But it made me more uncomfortable too because I felt as though I had to do well since some of them had a lot of experience with yoga. And I was sweating. A lot. And I was not very good. But I'm going to go back and do it again next week. I'm sure I'll get better with time. 


And now I've gotta go do some more work or you know, watch the rest of 30 Rock.

Breakfast

Mini Trader Joe's Pizza with lots of veggies

Dessert

Post- yoga protein smoothie and protein bar

Pasta sauce and cats

Today we had a 9 a.m. required lecture. We also had one on Monday. I was late to the one on Monday because my bike's chain guard was falling off and I physically couldn't bike with it like that. Today, I didn't bring the right coursepack. So, I figure I should have all the kinks worked out for the next required lecture.


Also, since lecture was at 9 a.m., I didn't exactly get up to go to the gym beforehand. That was my plan, but getting up around 6:45 is just not going to happen while it's still an optional thing. Plus, it would have been less than 12 hours since my last workout. And speaking of my last workout, I really thought the gym would be emptier around 7:30/8:00 p.m. I mean, by that time, people are supposed to be at home watching TV and hanging out. Guess all these gym goers didn't get that memo. Grr. I was planning on doing some lifting, but noooo. The lifting area was beyond crowded with super buff men. And super overweight me was not about to fight for space there. I'd be far too worried about how I looked to really focus on my workout. So, I did some lifting at the gym today. I'm working on getting my awesome biceps and quads back. I miss them.


Anywho, today's sponsor for my meals was roasted garlic pasta sauce:

Lunch: portabella mushroom ravioli

Dinner: homemade turkey meatballs

I also took a lot of cat photos today because Bailey was being excessively needy. So, enjoy this sequence of photos:

So alert

Distracted

Alert again

Drunk

 And tomorrow is my first night of yoga at the Y! Should be...interesting...

Some thoughts

So last week was our semester break. As medical students, we have a six-week torture fest summer semester where we learn all about drugs and radiology and all that jazz. So, last week was a very much needed vacation/break. But last week was also a week of epiphanies - some of them good, some of them not so good.


During vacation last week, it was the first time I've felt truly out of shape in a while. I mean, I knew it was coming. I was eating as though there was no tomorrow every single day. I hadn't been going to the gym. I was studying for 16 hours everyday, with no real active breaks. And then I began really looking at my body. My arms were becoming flabby and the biceps I'd worked so hard to get were gone. My thighs were expanding at an alarming rate. My stomach was struggling to stop all pants from fitting. And I just felt gross. To top it off, when we went to Universal Studios, I started freaking out in my head that I wouldn't be able to fit in the rides. For those of you who have never had to worry about that, trust me, it's not fun.


So, I made a resolution to myself that I would live it up during my vacation and get serious when I came home. You know. The same resolution I always make to myself. And I feel as though I've been posting a ton of these "I'll do better" posts this year. But I think this time I'll actually be able to do it. I've set goals that I think I can actually maintain. And I've thought things through.


First of all, working out is hard. There's no way around it. I think last year, I got so used to working out, sweating, and feeling uncomfortable that it just seemed normal. Now because my working out has been so sporadic, I forget that it's not going to be easy. That it's going to require more work than last year when I was more in shape. That it's going to be hard and that I won't die. That's right, exercise won't kill me. And really an hour workout is only 4.17% of my day. I'm pretty sure I can manage an hour a day.


The second thing I've thought through is being realistic with myself. I know myself well enough to know that if there is anything tasty in my apartment, I will eventually find some excuse to eat it. So, I cleaned out my cabinets, refrigerator, and freezer this weekend. It was kind of overwhelming. But also necessary.

All my foods

Reorganized

My fridge is small :-/

I don't have any real indulgences in my apartment and I'm going to have to use a lot of willpower to keep it that way.

Something else I did this weekend was set up a goal/weigh-in chart and make some decisions about when I want to weigh-in.

It's hard to see, so I'll explain below!

The red line you're seeing is my goal line. So, my plan is to weigh in every Sunday. I'm not entirely sure how this will work when I'm in Africa, but I'm sure I'll figure out something. My end goal is to be at 185 by New Year's Eve. My short-term goal is to be at 220 (again) by the end of June. I'm pretty sure I can do it. Here's my starting photo from Sunday:

I'm also planning to start doing yoga. I've only done yoga once in my life and I know it's great for muscle strengthening. I think it will also be good for me during this hectic semester. Also, as a member of the YMCA, I can do it fre. So, right now i'm planning on going Mondays and Thursdays from 6:30 to 7:30. This week I can't go tonight, but I will go on Thursday. Before you know it, I'll be calm, collected, and able to do a headstand.

The other thing I'm going to do is try to be a legitimate runner. I've run two 5ks and one 10k, but I wouldn't call myself a runner. So, starting in June, I'm going to start running about three times a week. Right now I want to focus on strength training and increasing my stamina through some gentler cardio, like the elliptical and stationary bike. 

In addition to all these thing, I'm going to try to be a bit nicer to myself. I tend to beat myself up about everything and a destructive attitude leads to not fun days. One bad day isn't going to ruin everything. I just have to remember that.

Lastly, I'm going to try my very hardest to blog more. Whoa. Calm down. I know that's exciting. But it also helps me. Obviously posts will never be this long on a regular basis, but blogging helps me stay motivated. So, here we go. Again. After all, this journey is a long one.