Food Photos and Accountability

Because of the aforementioned blogging frenzy, I took photos of my food today. Because, accountability. I don't know if that led me to eat more healthy stuff or if it led me to eat less junk stuff, but today's eats were pretty legit. I finished my 24 hour shift, drove home, made some eggs to eat alongside my yogurt drink and then ate them while doing therapy. Once done with breakfast, I hopped on my treadmill and completed my therapy session while walking. Movement therapy? Check. Talk therapy? Check. Bad ass multitasking? Check. Killing it.

I showered and then immediately passed out due to working a 24 hour shift. That being said, while in the midst of trying to sleep, I was so hungry. Like so, so hungry. I figured eating would be dumb because I was about to be unconscious, but I feel like I've been really hungry a lot lately and I don't know why. About 15 minutes before my alarm was due to go off, I got up, ate some lunch, and then one of my pals came over so we could go for a walk. She's also a doc and so it's hard for us to find time to spend together because we have garbage schedules, so we got to catch up and get some movement in. Killing it again. We're also hoping to do some more movement activities when we meet up in the future.

The rest of the day I spent with the kiddos. We took down the outdoor Halloween decorations, made a trip to Costco, and then had breakfast for dinner. This is an easy go-to meal when we need something fast but also when we don't want to hear incessant whining about how horrible it is that we make the kids eat dinner.

After dinner, the kids asked for some of their Halloween candy. I had tucked it all away before they got home because they often forget about yummy treats if they can't see them. The little dude remembered so I let them choose two pieces after dinner. My mom thinks I'm a buzzkill, but maybe if I were taught to limit myself, I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in now. Who knows?

Anywho, I packed some good stuff for work tomorrow and will hopefully get a good number of steps in on my walking pad. I'm also ignoring election stuff completely right now because the stress is real! (I already turned in my ballot, don't worry).

Breakfast: 3 scrambled eggs fresh from the farm

An internet photo of my yogurt drink

My protein drink while my lunch heated up

Leftover beef pot pie for lunch

Me and my walking pal - we did 3.26 miles in an hour

Post-walk snack

Dinner; not pictured is another serving of eggs

Ate half of this pancake, but ultimately was underwhelmed and didn't finish it

Kiddos doing homework with Nana

Zayd's toothbrush photo

Reyah's toothbrush photo

Onwards to another post of me killing it tomorrow! Planning on a weigh-in on Wednesday because, duh. Alliteration.

Sweets and parenting

I've been craving sweets lately. I have a pretty significant sweet tooth and then I looked at my Garmin period tracker and everything makes sense now. During the few days before my menstrual cycle, I want all the sweets. ALL OF THEM. In my belly. RIGHT THIS INSTANT. This is also the time where it's REALLY hard for me to keep my portion sizes in check because I'm constantly hungry. My mom and I went to Costco tonight and I had a food court hot dog and then I opened the popcorn we bought and snacked at the table. Then we got home and I ate crackers with dip. And I just finished another popcorn snack. Now, what I was more aware of was stopping with serving sizes that were far more reasonable than what I could have eaten. I counted out my crackers. I used a smaller bowl for my popcorn than I maybe would have historically and I didn't go back for seconds. So, winning?

Today I had my back pain resolving massage and did a walk with a friend and then another treadmill walk to watch the new episode of Only Murders in the Building. So, I moved my body today! I also had my first parent-teacher conference and cried almost immediately at the start of the meeting. Reyah's teacher literally started the conference with, "To start, do you have any questions for me?" And I just started crying and was like is she okay? Is our divorce harming her? I just want to know that that little girl is going to be alright. Raising kids is stressful! I'm constantly worried about how I might screw it up. I also had my first volunteer experience today, which further cemented the fact in my mind that teachers are fucking angels who are severely underpaid. I didn't manage to significantly embarrass Reyah, but will have another opportunity to do so next week, so we'll see!

Another old photo since I can't be bothered to photograph anything lately. aa

Fourth of July with the kiddos

Scale discrepancies (read: a weigh-in) and today's selfie

So today I woke up and did my weigh-in as promised - I almost forgot because I was distracted by some major low back pain. For those of you who are faithful and read all my posts, you'll know that I've been seeing a chiropractor as well as DO to help with my back. For those of you who are not faithful readers, shame on you welcome! I have an appointment on Friday with the DO and decided today that I had to see the chiropractor. I couldn't even bend over after my shower this morning to dry off my legs after my shower. And I didn't want to spiral down into something awful. So, I bit the bullet and saw the chiropractor. He adjusted me quickly, said my sacrum was out of alignment (per usual) and then sent me on my merry way. Since getting home, I've been using my heating pad and trying to move around more. I even tried bending to touch my toes (something that isn't usually that difficult for me) and it was a definite no-go. My back must be super tense. I've been taking ibuprofen to decrease the inflammation, so now I've just gotta be patient.

After work, I hit up the elliptical. I was going to do an hour and then my stomach wouldn't allow it. It was all, "Bitch. I'm hungrrrrry." And I was all like, "Just wait." And my stomach was like, "Eff waiting. I'm going to be super loud the entire time you're on this elliptical." And so, I decreased my time to 45 minutes, which worked out perfectly because I finished my recent kindle read with 32 seconds to go. It was like the powers that be wanted me to just do 45 minutes of ellipticaling.

I've been studying a lot today, working on some fiancé visa paperwork, and trying to be more active because I think my back is angry that I've been so immobile lately. I've also been checking The Fitnessista's blog incessantly to see if she's delivered her baby yet. She hasn't blogged since Friday. What's going on!? The OB/GYN in me MUST KNOW.

Anywho, that's it for me. Here's what you guys all really want: my weigh-in.

Upon first stepping on the scale

Second try - I like this number better ;-)

Today's selfie

Lunch

Apples = fiber! Pooping for everyone!

Noms

Dinner

Tomorrow I have personal training after work. I also get to do two surgeries tomorrow because they need help with coverage for the gynecology surgeries. Baller. I've missed the OR. It'll be a good day, I hope!

Living my life rather than letting it pass on by

One of the things I stopped doing in medical school was living my life. When I wasn't tied to my books, I felt as though I should have been and punished myself by not letting myself do things I really enjoyed, by not being healthy, and by not treating myself with respect. I'm going to try really hard not to do the same thing in residency. Yes, my job is important. Yes, the health of all my patients really matters to me. And yes, I want to do my absolute best all the time. But I don't want to lose myself again. I don't want to stop living life. I don't want to skip the gym because I feel I haven't earned it. I don't want to say no to social times with friends because I should be studying. In all honesty, an hour is not going to make or break me. And that's something I kinda reminded myself in fourth year (when we had a lot more free time). And that's also why I'm hoping I can sustain my blog this year.

Anywho, one of the reasons I didn't blog last night is because some co-workers went out to grab dinner and drinks later in the evening and of course, I had to go. But, I went after I worked out with my new personal trainer. I'm kinda skeptical about this trainer. Having worked out with a personal trainer before, I felt like the intensity was much lower than what I was expecting. That being said, Troy explained that yesterday was kind of a baseline check  for him to see what I can do. He seems like a good guy and I was very honest with him. I told him I would be using him as an additional source of accountability because I will lose weight and work hard if someone's keeping track with me, but I have a harder time/won't do it if I'm just doing it on my own. We're going to do weigh-ins and measurements and all that jazz, but he says he only likes to do that once a month. I personally think that once a week weigh-ins are better because it keeps me better motivated if the scale doesn't change in a week. He says that if I have a bad weigh-in he wouldn't want it to affect me. But we'll see. I might be able to wear him down. When I worked out with Mark, I used to have a 3 pound a week goal. I think that's pretty reasonable, but I think Troy is intending me to go a bit slower. We'll see. I have no problem telling him he needs to push me harder.

Other than that, things are pretty okay. Today was my second fasting day. It was a lot harder than it was on Monday because I sat idle during a lot of the day given that I was on triage when we had our PA (physician's assistant) who handles a majority of triage. I worked on my knot tying and chatted with the med students and other residents. I also did some circumcisions and made some calls I'd been meaning to make that I hadn't had the time to make up until this point. I did as much as possible to stay busy because you definitely feel the hunger more when you're not doing anything. I know it'll get easier because I used to fast in Uganda all the time - going home for lunch was too much of a pain in the ass. So, it was breakfast around 8 a.m. and dinner around 9:30 a.m. with some mango juice for lunch (which doesn't exactly count). Today, however, I had my typical breakfast and then had a buttload of shrimp for dinner since I was really hungry. I also opted out of the gym since we didn't get out until a little after 6 and I wanted to eat ASAP. I also wanted a chill night at home since I haven't had one of those in a while. I watched America's Got Talent and I'm going to head to bed soon, I think.

Two photos for you:

Breakfast (not pictured: yogurt protein smoothie)

Dinner

Thanks for the yummy dessert recipes! I'm thinking I'll try baking something this weekend after I hit up Eastern Market (a massive farmer's market in Detroit). Now, does anyone have a low cal dinner recipe they'd recommend? It would majorly help with my fasting dinners that should be about 300 calories max.

So much love

So today I got to run triage by myself and it was empty one minute and then wa-bam! Majorly busy! But, the nurses were amazing and there were lots of happy new moms. But, the most loving part of my day was how many of my friends took a moment out of their days to give me some love and encouragement. For whatever reason, the heavens aligned and I got a voicemail, texts, and blog comment loving. So, thank you for that - it made my day awesome!

My day was also awesome because I went to Zumba today with one of my fellow interns. I forgot how much I love Zumba! At the YMCA in Grand Rapids, I used to go to Zumba all the time - it was a TON of fun because the instructor used to incorporate a lot of popular music and her dances were super intense. Here, the intensity wasn't quite what it was in GR, but it was still a fun way to get a workout in. I'm super glad I went and coaxed a friend along - it's always more fun to go to the gym with a friend. Also, I scoped out the elliptical situation at this branch of L.A. Fitness and they have 7 of the good ellipticals (vs. 5 at the one I usually go to), so maybe I'll do my cardio days there and my strength days at the branch closer to where I live because their strength area is much larger.

Moving on to the eats part of my day - today I was waaaay hungrier than usual. I think it's because I'm a few days away from my period and right before my period, I want to eat all the things. And I was super tempted today. Thursday is our lecture/learning day and that means they bring in a carb tray and a fruit tray. The carb tray is loaded with bagels, muffins, and donuts. The fruit tray is loaded with lots of waxy-looking fruit: apples, oranges, and bananas (nothing that awesome when it comes to fruit). Naturally, I chose a blueberry bagel (it had fruit in it...) and later I had a blueberry muffin. I can't tell you how many times I had to talk myself out of a donut. There were several times when I was alone in the lounge with the carb tray and I almost went for it. Then I had to remind myself of my 6 pound shoe goal and I made it without grabbing any more carbs. And now, food photos pour toi:

Breakfast with the last of my farmer's market strawberries

Lunch: bagged salad, chicken cordon bleu and a spoonful of veggie lasagna

Probably the most delicious protein bar I've ever had - a Trader Joe's find
Definitely has to be an occasional treat tho - it had 200 calories!

Dinner: half a sandwhich(ish) and some dill pickles - yum!

In other news, tomorrow is my first meeting with my personal trainer and I've got a dinner date with some med school friends. I'm super pumped for that. I'm also super pumped because I just found out that in apology for an early Thursday, Fridays we start late - we don't sign out until 8:00 a.m., which means I only have to be there by 7:30 a.m. to round, rather than 5:30 a.m. like today. BALLER.

Since I got a lot of loving today, what's something you like to do to make others feel a little extra loved during the day? Also, what do you like?

Photos and Zumba

Today was my preceptor's late call night which meant he was in no hurry during the day. This would have been fine, but I was itching to get to Zumba. I hadn't gone for a week and I really do look forward to shake my booty. My preceptor is also superhuman when it comes to hunger. He didn't call for a lunch break until 1:45. Are you serious? I eat breakfast at 7:15ish everyday. That's 6.5 hours without eating. Fortunately, I usually carry a fiber plus bar in my pocket during the day and today I was able to run back to the office for a banana inbetween my patients and meeting up with my doctor. But being hungry and not eating is so not good for me cuz it sets me up to binge. Fortunately, given that I only pack so much food, it's not usually an issue, but if I were to eat at the cafeteria, I'd be in major trouble.

Moving on. My preceptor got a complicated patient near the end of the day and I think he realized how useless I was around 5:15 because he told me to brief him on my last patient, leave my progress note, and head out. So I got to leave at 5:30, which gave me plenty of time to run home, marinate my fish, and change for Zumba. 

Zumba was a lot of bouncing today. I wore my heart rate monitor - 740 calories burned. Bam! I burn more calories doing Zumba than anything else. It's great because I actually like it. When I got home, it was time to cook up the fish and make some asparagus. Now, I'm not usually an asparagus person, but holy fuck, this recipe was awesome. Now I'm eager to add more asparagus into my meals. And having a dinner planned ahead of time was super helpful in avoiding just grazing, like I did yesterday.

All in all, it was a good day. I've still got some more studying to do before I turn in for the night, which is unfortunate for me, but tomorrow's Friday, so I'll be fine. Here are all the photos I've neglected to upload:

Breakfast the day of my exam - carbs for brain capacity, eggs for protein, and watermelon cuz it's the best

My new backpack. I got a new one for Christmas, but it lacked an outside pocket and functional compartments for my needs

Because it was so pretty!

Made some guac with half of that pretty guy

Guac!

Used the other half for the epic sandwich

Vanilla milkshake

Today's food - I couldn't figure out what to pack for the "main" part of the meal, so I just didn't pack anything...

Today's breakfast - no eggs because there was no time

Tonight's freaking awesome dinner featuring wild caught salmon - DELICIOUS

Today's positive: branching out and trying a new recipe and liking it!

Narcissism at its finest

Today was a rough one, you guys. Now, really, I recognize that my life is not that hard, but I let some things get under my skin today. I was made late after going out of my way to help someone else out, and I didn't get to talk to some people that I really needed to talk to. I, of course, let my frustrations build until I got to lecture this afternoon and just felt like crying. I know it's stupid, but on top of being late [twice due to someone else] and not being able to have the conversations I needed to have, I forgot my lunch. The very lunch that took me forever and a half to decide on last night. So, I was frustrated, hungry, and dehydrated. Not a good combo.

Fortunately, I did have a fiber plus bar, an ounce of almonds, and a serving size of animal crackers in my bag. So, it wasn't like I was starving, but man oh man, do I wish I had had more to eat before finally getting home at 4:45 today.

Plus, once I got home, my replacement phone had arrived and of course, I need to spend a bajillion hours configuring it exactly as I wanted it. I'd almost forgotten how hungry I was, but not quite. I heated up some enchiladas for a quick bite to eat (see how handy leftovers are!?):

I put some light sour cream on these before inhaling them

And after some more tinkering on my phone, I opted for some more snacks.

Cheese full of protein!

Banana bread and baby almond milk

Subtle, almond milk, subtle.

After completing everything, I was still a bit keyed up, so I decided to watch some Jimmy Fallon to get some giggles going, make dinner, and dance around as I was prepping:

Mediocre fries - they put waaaay more herbs than garlic (first mistake)

Chopped

Layers of goodness

Noms

I vented to my Mom and Lisa on the phone tonight. But while on the phone with my mom, I forgot to mention to her that my official medical student photos are in! There are 7 and I have to pick one for the yearbook and all the shiz that my school uses them for. So, being the narcissistic person that I am, I'm posting them all here and you can help me decide which one I should choose!

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

And lastly, today's positive thing is brought to you by my friend Anna and cats. Thanks, Anna!

Speaking of cats, here's mine:

He sleeps in his "ashamed" pose every so often.

And today's other picture is of my breakfast. So, here you go:

Catch you guys tomorrow!