The internet is for judging

Well, in preparation for my oral surgery, I overate to excess at the end of the week last week. I took pictures, but admittedly was too embarrassed about how much I ate to want to post anything. I didn't want to be judged for my fat assness. Because let's face it, the internet exists to judge people.

I had my bone graft/little surgery on Monday. I'm still working on recovering. He warned me the swelling would be impressive, but good God. Impressive is an understatement. He failed to warn me that I would require antibiotics every 6 hours for a whole week, so that's been super fun. I have an alarm set on my phone so I don't miss any. I also take my pain meds at that time. It's been a lot more painful than I expected. It's totally manageable with pain meds, but you can't take those forever. I just ate some soup for dinner and now the pain has spiked again because opening my mouth, even to get a spoon in, sucks a lot. I'm not sure what else to do. I suppose I could straight up drink everything, but it's a sad life to eat without texture and/or chewing. I'm already bored with the diet I'm stuck with. Here's a series of swelling photos for your entertainment.

So, anywho, I've stocked up on soup. I made mediocre pudding. I've got applesauce. I bought some mousses from Walmart. Nothing is that appealing so I opted to get some French onion soup delivered from Panera tonight. I bought the sharing portion for $25 because a bowl was $10 and I wanted to get my money's worth. Well, pretty sure I didn't get my money's worth. They said it served 4 and I must say, you've gotta really hate your guests if you think you can get 4 servings out of this. Also $25 for this? Ridiculous. 

Anyway, I've got a full OR day tomorrow, so it's off to bed early for me after I ice my fast some more.

Day 182/365: Feeling fine this summer time

Yesterday I went to the gym even though I reeeeeally didn't want to go to the gym. I didn't really have a reason as to why I couldn't go and so I had to do it. I just did some cardio and was huffing and puffing by the end. Then I returned some clothes I ordered, picked up some new ones, and headed home to clean up a bit and see the husband. We had some dinner and then headed out to see some fireworks with some friends. It was lovely.

Today, I didn't make it to the gym. I woke up late, showered, and then headed to the pool with my friend Jenna. It was nice catching up with her because I haven't seen her in forever. We did the pool the best way to do it: take some dips, get some sun, repeat. When we got home, the husband was washing his car. I coaxed him into washing mine as well and then we showered up and headed downtown for dinner with some pals. 

Now, I'm home, watching some Fixer Upper while I prep for some surgical cases tomorrow and blog. It makes me sad that I have to go back to work tomorrow because I spent most of the weekend outside in the sunshine and it was spectacular. I cannot wait until I can be outside again!

Shake Shack!!!

Dinner: Progress - splitting the fries rather than getting my own

The downtown Beach

Nasur + me + Detroit

Canada is 150 now (And right across the river)!

The lake looking pretty on the way home

At the lake waiting for fireworks

Day 16/365: Intermittent fasting

So today was a mostly good day. I did some intermittent fasting today and though I wasn't able to make it to the gym (because of doing a favor for that friend), I did get all of my steps in. It did require me to pace back and forth on the phone, but I did it! 

Now, I mentioned intermittent fasting above. What is it? Well, it's called the Fast Diet. These two authors write about it and the research behind it is simply this: eat 600 calories in a day in two separate meals as far apart as possible (goal being at least 12 hours) and let your body do the work. The thinking behind it is that when our bodies first evolved, we were hunters and gatherers and there would be periods where food was just unavailable - fasting periods - and other periods where food was plentiful. The thought is that if we fast just two days a week, our body will utilize fuels better and optimize to what they should be doing. At the beginning of intern year, I fasted routinely for about 2 months and the weight came off pretty easily and I found that, at the end of the day, my food tasted much more flavorful. But, it is hard. When met with a lot of temptation, I have a hard time not giving in. Their advice is to stay hydrated as much as possible. So, that's what I try to do. I started the day with an extra large glass of crystal light, drank tea, and had a couple of C-sections thrown in there to keep me distracted. They point out in their book that hunger passes and you can always eat what's around later - the food won't disappear.

So, we'll see how that goes. My days that I'm going to fast are Mondays and Thursdays - my clinic days so that I'm not too idle.

Alright, cheers, friends!

Today's weigh-in

Breakfast

Dinner

Couch blogging (not the toilet this time)

See you tomorrow!

Scale discrepancies (read: a weigh-in) and today's selfie

So today I woke up and did my weigh-in as promised - I almost forgot because I was distracted by some major low back pain. For those of you who are faithful and read all my posts, you'll know that I've been seeing a chiropractor as well as DO to help with my back. For those of you who are not faithful readers, shame on you welcome! I have an appointment on Friday with the DO and decided today that I had to see the chiropractor. I couldn't even bend over after my shower this morning to dry off my legs after my shower. And I didn't want to spiral down into something awful. So, I bit the bullet and saw the chiropractor. He adjusted me quickly, said my sacrum was out of alignment (per usual) and then sent me on my merry way. Since getting home, I've been using my heating pad and trying to move around more. I even tried bending to touch my toes (something that isn't usually that difficult for me) and it was a definite no-go. My back must be super tense. I've been taking ibuprofen to decrease the inflammation, so now I've just gotta be patient.

After work, I hit up the elliptical. I was going to do an hour and then my stomach wouldn't allow it. It was all, "Bitch. I'm hungrrrrry." And I was all like, "Just wait." And my stomach was like, "Eff waiting. I'm going to be super loud the entire time you're on this elliptical." And so, I decreased my time to 45 minutes, which worked out perfectly because I finished my recent kindle read with 32 seconds to go. It was like the powers that be wanted me to just do 45 minutes of ellipticaling.

I've been studying a lot today, working on some fiancé visa paperwork, and trying to be more active because I think my back is angry that I've been so immobile lately. I've also been checking The Fitnessista's blog incessantly to see if she's delivered her baby yet. She hasn't blogged since Friday. What's going on!? The OB/GYN in me MUST KNOW.

Anywho, that's it for me. Here's what you guys all really want: my weigh-in.

Upon first stepping on the scale

Second try - I like this number better ;-)

Today's selfie

Lunch

Apples = fiber! Pooping for everyone!

Noms

Dinner

Tomorrow I have personal training after work. I also get to do two surgeries tomorrow because they need help with coverage for the gynecology surgeries. Baller. I've missed the OR. It'll be a good day, I hope!

A day off from the gym

So Thursdays are our long day at work because it's education day. Lectures start at 6:00 a.m. and go to 8:00 a.m. Beforehand, I have to do all my rounds. So, it's usually an early, early day. Fortunately, the 6:00 a.m. lecture was canceled, so it wasn't as early as it could have been. However, Thursday is also our late stay day because the night team has to stay while we are in lectures. So, we start early and end late. Anywho, I have decided given that it's our late day, Thursdays will be my day off gym-wise and will be my night to watch some TV on my iPad, catch up on household chores, and sleep.

So, that's what I did today. Work was busy, busy, busy. I get most my 10,000 steps in before I leave work. And I've decided to do the stairs for everything (minus the start and the end of the day when I'm eager to get to work and eager to leave). Sometimes this means 7 flights at a time. My quads are getting stronger and I'm getting less winded with time.

In other news, I'm officially ordained for my friends' wedding! It was stupid easy. Aaaaand, my dress is on its way. The nice thing about this website my friend chose is that you can do custom measurements so that they get your size rightish. The bad thing is that you don't get to try anything on unless you pay $10 per dress. Sooo, I ordered it sight unseen. Hopefully it looks okay.

Today was a good day eating-wise. I had a good breakfast, which apparently I didn't take a picture of - just eggs, banana, ham, and watermelon. I had my protein yogurt shake during lecture and tried to hydrate because I've been hydrating poorly lately. I had an apple for lunch because it was all I could grab inbetween surgeries and consults. After my last surgery, I grabbed a pear and then a bit later made a trip to the cafeteria and grabbed a grilled chicken sandwich (without cheese) and lots of mango.

When I got home, I opted for just some hydration and then tried to modify the recipe for a single serving cookie. Last time, I followed the recipe to a T. But this time, I opted to soften the butter and use some egg white rather than milk. But, there was a bit too much egg white and it was runny and the cookies turned out a bit cake-like.

Single serving of cookies

So, I'll have to keep modifying since last time the cookie was a bit dry. I'm sure I'll get it one of these days.

Does anyone else know any single serving recipes for dessert? If I make a batch of cookies, I binge eat either the cookies or the dough, so really, it's a no-go for me. I could tell myself that I'll take them to work, but sometimes I don't actually do that. So, no reason to invite that kind of stress in my life. 

How is life out there in the real world? I've been trapped in the hospital a lot lately and I'm working yet again this weekend - it's the 5th or 6th one in a row now. Blech.

Rejuvenated!

Today's theme: REJUVENATION.

Thank God it's a new month. Thank God it's a new rotation. Thank God I don't ever have to do an emergency room rotation again. Thank God I'm home before the sun goes down. Thank God that today was a million times better than every single day last month combined. Seriously, everyone. THANK GOD.

Today I woke up at 4:00 a.m. I shit you not. 4:00 a.m. This was not exactly the time I wanted to wake up because holy eff, that is early when you're used to rolling out of bed anywhere between 7 and 8:30 a.m. everyday. But, it is what it is. I high tailed it to work because I thought I had a bunch of patients to round on. Nope. Just one. Soooo, I had a lot of time to look up my patients that were going to be here for surgery and learn all their personal information by heart (I got to work at 5:15).

After getting sign out, seeing my patient with my chief, I got to go do some very basic surgeries - some bread and butter cases of a GYN resident. IT WAS THE BEST. Yes, my low back is sore from standing for so long without a break. Yes, my urine was the yellowest it's been in a while because I didn't even have time to grab something to drink. And yes, my knees are swollen. But, it is 100% worth it.

The rest of my day was pretty chill - just checked up on some patients and worked on some things for days to come. After getting out at 5:00 p.m. (which is a million times better than getting out at 8:00 p.m.), I ran home for a quick snack (I did get a chance to eat lunch during the day), and then threw on my gym clothes to have a session with my brand new personal trainer. I'm not sure what happened to my old one. They gave me the standard, "He's no longer with us," but this one was pretty great. So, despite my bitching, I'm glad that change happened. Today we mostly did squats, lunges, bicep curls, crunches, medicine ball core work, and ropes. It was a pretty solid work out. My only complaint is that it didn't get my heart rate up much - it was more strengthening. This new guy and I also talked about doing weights and measurements every two weeks, which I like.

Now that I'm home, I'm going to read up on a few things for work, trying to organize my computer (it's getting s l o w - gotta delete some old files, I think) wash up for bed, and maybe eat a little something. I'm not that hungry, but I think I'll regret not eating in about an hour as my stomach is growling in bed. So, maybe a little Laughing Cow cheese wedge with some pretzel crisps - sounds good just thinking about it.

In other news, I weighed in yesterday. I post it on my weigh-in page, but I didn't feel up to blogging last night since I was busy reading up about upcoming surgeries.

A few more pounds until NEW SHOES!

Food shots for you:

Yesterday's breakfast

Yesterday's dinner

And tomorrow I'm going to hit up the gym for some post-work cardio and then head to a friend's for a nice home-cooked meal. Yum.

REJUVENATED.

Return to blogging + weight loss

So it's been a while since I blogged for a few reasons. First and foremost is that the ER is ruining my life. I. Hate. It. I can't really go more into it without turning into a majorly Negative Nancy, but second, the hours are also stupid and I get home around 8:30/9:00 every night, so the last thing I really feel like doing is cracking open the laptop to blog. Buuuut, I promised a friend of mine I'd blog and I'll try to start up again, even if it is a bit late by the time I get home.

In other news, I had personal training yesterday and we finally did a weigh-in and some measurements (just BMI and body fat percentage). I'm glad we did that because it majorly adds some motivation. He likes to check every 2 weeks and I feel as though that's nice in case I have a bad week. However, we never really set a weight goal for my next weigh-in. So, I guess I'll just try to lose reasonably? Also, we weighed in after a workout, which is silly, in my opinion, cuz I'm typically covered in sweat. So, here were my measurements:

• Weight: 239
• BMI: 35.3
• Body fat: 38.6%

Also, my weight was way different than my scale on Friday, so let's go with the lower number ;-)

I'm also still fasting twice a week. I've been doing Mondays and Wednesdays rather than Mondays and Thursdays. It's pretty easy to do in the ER because the patients just keep on coming, no matter what the time.

I'm also still going to the chiropractor. Last Friday I threw my back out about a half hour before I saw my chiropractor. It was majorly painful and it felt slightly better after he adjusted me (he said I threw out my sacroiliac joint), but it took another 3-4 hours for the pain to go away. I also had a surgery scheduled with one of my clinic patients and standing throughout that was terrrrrrible. I cried right before we started and cried right after. The pain was overwhelming. So, I learned one thing: labor is going to be the worrrrrst (I'm not pregnant). Fortunately, the pain didn't return. Usually when I throw out my back, the pain lasts for a week. I'm going to go ahead and assume that it's because of going to the chiropractor that things got better so quickly.

That's all I've got right about now. I'm pretty boring since I work all the time. Anything exciting in any of your lives?

Sick(ish) day

Today was another weird day. Because my doctor was in the office for half the day and doing colonoscopies for the other half of the day, he sent me to the OR with some of his partners for an interesting surgery. It was slated to be a long one: from 8:30 a.m. to at least 3:30 p.m. if not longer. I geared up by sleeping in as late as possible, eating a suitable breakfast and hoping for the best.

For the most part, med students don't do much but retract and watch during surgeries. Such was the case today. That being said, you have more time to tune into your body or your thoughts. Usually, it's both. I'm thinking about things or how much my back hurts/feet hurt/stomach hurts (cuz I'm hungry) and so on. Usually, it starts with my back hurting and then after 3-4 hours, I realize how hungry I am. Not the case today as I got to sit given that it was laparoscopic and there were screens to watch and for some reason, I never got hungry - I got nauseous. Like really nauseous.

And then I was called upon to do some pretty integral retracting and bam - a really terrible headache hit me. Around 1 p.m., I had to scrub out to take some ibuprofen, hydrate, and eat some grapes, hoping to settle my stomach. I went back in, was actually needed, and then bowed out at 2:30 p.m. to go home because I couldn't stop burping and was afraid I might throw up. The nurses were all worried that I'd pass out (some people pass out because they can't stomach surgery), but it wasn't that at all. It was me feeling like I was going to vomit at any time and that my head might explode.

I can home, whined to Nasur about how awful I felt, and then took a 3.5 hour nap and woke up with my headache being left-sided and much better, but definitely not gone. And since orals are tomorrow, I'm studying my bum off. But I'm still tired and will probably go to bed soon. So, no workouts and no photos for you. There are some on my camera, but I'm not feeling it. 

Here's to hoping tomorrow is much more awesome!

Today's positive: doctors being kind enough to not scold me for feeling awful.

Long day and catching up with a friend

Today was another long day, but it was a decent one. It was mostly good because after my long day at the hospital, I had dinner plans with my friend Christine, who got engaged this weekend. It was nice to catch up a bit (because despite going to the same medical school, we hardly ever see each other) and it was nice enjoying a meal that was not cooked by myself. What did we have? Sushi (and no, I didn't take a picture because I forgot). Every Tuesday, sushi is half off at a restaurant that is about a 15-20 minute walk from the neighborhood we live in. Because it was a beautiful day, I stripped off my scrubs, donned a cute summer dress, and enjoyed the walk there with Christine. 

When I got home, I read up a little bit on kidney diseases as I have two nephrectomy cases tomorrow (nephrectomy = removal of kidney). Apparently the surgeon I'm working with really enjoys pimping (asking questions) of med students in the OR (operating room) to either humiliate them into believing he is a god among surgeons or to make them feel stupid/"teach" them.  But given that it was 8:30 p.m. by the time I was home, I only did an hour and half's worth of reading and am calling it good because, well, good enough.

Here are some photos for the day:

Breakfast

Lunch

Another knee icing night

Post-icing for 20 minutes (so painfully cold!)

This guy doesn't care about my knees

Today's positive: hanging out with Christine/spending quality time with a friend.

Positive life changes...hopefully...

I'm trying this new thing called being positive and more forgiving (of myself, of others, blah, blah), but I just have to say that starting a day at 7 a.m. and ending it after 7 p.m. is just plain ridiculous. Especially since technically the day started at 5:30 a.m. since I had to be at the hospital by 7 and the hospital is 15 minutes away. It was a long day. There are many more long days to come. Hopefully those long days will be spent doing things I actually want to do :-)

It was also a challenge to come home so late and then cook dinner rather than just graze and/or scavenge. But, I told myself that I wouldn't eat out during fourth year nor would I get fast food, so I didn't have much of a choice. Also, I left a steak out so I needed to eat it given that it was defrosted. Thus, today's positive is cooking and studying despite getting home late and wanting to do neither of these things.

Also, I recently got rid of facebook, partly because residency applications and interviews are coming up and also because I waste a lot of time on it and mostly see people's happy posts that make me extremely jealous and/or think less of myself and the things I've achieved. No point in keeping something that bums me out. It's unfortunate that it means not having contact with a lot of the people I met in Uganda, but such is life. So, in short, hopefully I'm making some positive changes in my life!

And now I must retire to my bedchambers as I have another long day ahead of me tomorrow! I'm going to try to get in some gym time tomorrow (today was just too painful - I ended up icing my knees due to standing all day).

Breakfast

Morning snack/breakfast #2

Snack while microwaving lunch

Lunch: lean cuisine and grapes 

Hydrating before cooking

Cooking takes so much work and I barely do anything difficult

Dinner (my steak was huge so I just ate half)

Icing my knees after a long day standing - surgery physically hurts