Scale discrepancies (read: a weigh-in) and today's selfie

So today I woke up and did my weigh-in as promised - I almost forgot because I was distracted by some major low back pain. For those of you who are faithful and read all my posts, you'll know that I've been seeing a chiropractor as well as DO to help with my back. For those of you who are not faithful readers, shame on you welcome! I have an appointment on Friday with the DO and decided today that I had to see the chiropractor. I couldn't even bend over after my shower this morning to dry off my legs after my shower. And I didn't want to spiral down into something awful. So, I bit the bullet and saw the chiropractor. He adjusted me quickly, said my sacrum was out of alignment (per usual) and then sent me on my merry way. Since getting home, I've been using my heating pad and trying to move around more. I even tried bending to touch my toes (something that isn't usually that difficult for me) and it was a definite no-go. My back must be super tense. I've been taking ibuprofen to decrease the inflammation, so now I've just gotta be patient.

After work, I hit up the elliptical. I was going to do an hour and then my stomach wouldn't allow it. It was all, "Bitch. I'm hungrrrrry." And I was all like, "Just wait." And my stomach was like, "Eff waiting. I'm going to be super loud the entire time you're on this elliptical." And so, I decreased my time to 45 minutes, which worked out perfectly because I finished my recent kindle read with 32 seconds to go. It was like the powers that be wanted me to just do 45 minutes of ellipticaling.

I've been studying a lot today, working on some fiancé visa paperwork, and trying to be more active because I think my back is angry that I've been so immobile lately. I've also been checking The Fitnessista's blog incessantly to see if she's delivered her baby yet. She hasn't blogged since Friday. What's going on!? The OB/GYN in me MUST KNOW.

Anywho, that's it for me. Here's what you guys all really want: my weigh-in.

Upon first stepping on the scale

Second try - I like this number better ;-)

Today's selfie

Lunch

Apples = fiber! Pooping for everyone!

Noms

Dinner

Tomorrow I have personal training after work. I also get to do two surgeries tomorrow because they need help with coverage for the gynecology surgeries. Baller. I've missed the OR. It'll be a good day, I hope!

Return to blogging + weight loss

So it's been a while since I blogged for a few reasons. First and foremost is that the ER is ruining my life. I. Hate. It. I can't really go more into it without turning into a majorly Negative Nancy, but second, the hours are also stupid and I get home around 8:30/9:00 every night, so the last thing I really feel like doing is cracking open the laptop to blog. Buuuut, I promised a friend of mine I'd blog and I'll try to start up again, even if it is a bit late by the time I get home.

In other news, I had personal training yesterday and we finally did a weigh-in and some measurements (just BMI and body fat percentage). I'm glad we did that because it majorly adds some motivation. He likes to check every 2 weeks and I feel as though that's nice in case I have a bad week. However, we never really set a weight goal for my next weigh-in. So, I guess I'll just try to lose reasonably? Also, we weighed in after a workout, which is silly, in my opinion, cuz I'm typically covered in sweat. So, here were my measurements:

• Weight: 239
• BMI: 35.3
• Body fat: 38.6%

Also, my weight was way different than my scale on Friday, so let's go with the lower number ;-)

I'm also still fasting twice a week. I've been doing Mondays and Wednesdays rather than Mondays and Thursdays. It's pretty easy to do in the ER because the patients just keep on coming, no matter what the time.

I'm also still going to the chiropractor. Last Friday I threw my back out about a half hour before I saw my chiropractor. It was majorly painful and it felt slightly better after he adjusted me (he said I threw out my sacroiliac joint), but it took another 3-4 hours for the pain to go away. I also had a surgery scheduled with one of my clinic patients and standing throughout that was terrrrrrible. I cried right before we started and cried right after. The pain was overwhelming. So, I learned one thing: labor is going to be the worrrrrst (I'm not pregnant). Fortunately, the pain didn't return. Usually when I throw out my back, the pain lasts for a week. I'm going to go ahead and assume that it's because of going to the chiropractor that things got better so quickly.

That's all I've got right about now. I'm pretty boring since I work all the time. Anything exciting in any of your lives?

Feeling inadequate and getting adjusted

So today started out with a dilemma because I was having a bit more back and hip pain than recently. I couldn't figure out if I should cancel my trainer appointment and just get adjusted today or tough it out until Friday. After talking to Nasur, I opted to cancel my trainer appointment. And that was definitely a good choice given the operating I had to do today with a very short attending who kept the table at her height (read: lots of bending at awkward angles for me). The chiropractor wasn't surprised to hear that I was getting sore again, but when he adjusted me, he said I was still pretty decently aligned. So, he recommended just getting adjusted once a week from here on out, but that I should come again Monday just in case I get out of whack again this weekend.

In other news, I think because my Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays are a bit more challenging than my Thursdays and Fridays, I get down on myself. I mean, I really struggle with some things and I know it's only my first month and I'll get the hang of things, but man oh man, I hate feeling so inadequate. It wasn't helped by one attending who stopped one of my seniors from letting me do something today because he needed to remember that I "don't know anything - I mean, basically nothing." Um, I did go to medical school. So, I probably know something. I belittle myself enough - I really don't need someone else to do it, too. But I just smiled and thanked her for teaching me because getting upset with her for being unkind isn't going to get me anywhere. And that's another reason I'm glad I took tonight for myself. I got adjusted, grabbed some groceries, and relaxed at home. I'm going to bed soon because I have to be at work at 5:00 a.m. tomorrow since we have lecture from 6-8 a.m. and have to see all of our patients beforehand.

Sooo, sorry this isn't a more exciting entry, but I'm exhausted and a little bummed.

Breakfast

Lunch: a gyro, banana, and grapes

Dinner = toast + bruschetta (among other things)

Catch you guys on the flip side in a better mood, I promise!

Thwarted by the chiropractor

Well, my plans to swim at the gym today were thwarted by the chiropractor. Apparently they're not open on Tuesdays, which would've been good to know. I also learned that he's not open on Thursdays. So I'm not entirely sure when I'll have the opportunity to go get adjusted given that tomorrow is a trainer day and Friday is the day when I like to go really hard at the gym - like a 1.5-2 hour work out. I suppose I could get adjusted Friday, swim, and then put in a really intense workout on Saturday, but Friday night workouts are so damn satisfying.

Anyway, today was pretty legit otherwise. I got a lot of steps in today, learned a lot, and watched the finale of Bachelorette while at the gym. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to go to the gym because I was so tired, but I decided if I was going to watch the Bachelorette, it had to be at the gym. For those of you who watched, I wasn't shocked, but I was going to be disappointed either way because the two guys she had left were gross. Now that that's over, I'll have to find another guilty pleasure because let's face it, I definitely shouldn't be using that time to study ;-)

In other news, I made some zucchini bread tonight - two loaves! One for my downstairs neighbor and one for work. I really enjoyed bringing banana bread into work last week because I got to have just enough to make me happy and a lot of other people enjoyed it too. 

That's really all I've got right now. My knees are a bit achy after my workout, so I'm hoping they won't keep me awake tonight. I might have to cave and take some ibuprofen. I've been hoping to take ibuprofen less often because I've been taking it a lot lately due to my back and hip pain, but I have a feeling that if I don't take some, I won't be able to sleep.

What do you do to help with achy joints or injuries?

Today's breakfast minus the toast I also had

Morning snack - fresh berries from the cafeteria

Dinner after the gym - I was soo hungry by the time I got home

Sunday Funday

Having a random night shift in the middle of weeks of day shifts is a bit hard to adjust to. However, it still allows you to have somewhat of a weekend, which was kind of nice.

When I went in to work, there weren't any laboring patients, so I had it pretty easy. I saw quite a few patients in triage and sent most of them home. Despite the fact that it wasn't very busy, the time really flew by and I had some great med students helping me out. When I got home, I fell asleep almost instantly and woke up with no low back pain or hip pain. I was pumped. Yesterday was the first time I'd woken up without back pain and I was a little worried it would be a one time deal. But, nope. So, that seals it - I'm definitely heading back to the chiropractor this week.

After waking up, I hurriedly put some things together to head to my friend Monica's place. She was having some people over to hang out and go swim in the lake she lives on. It was just what I needed - hanging out with some non-medical people, eating some not so healthy food (read: pizza and brownies) and spending time in the sun relaxing.

Now I'm home and cleaning up a bit so that I can start my last week of OB off on the right foot. Tomorrow will also be a fasting day, so I'm taking a look at what my meals will be now so that I don't go too far astray from my goals. Tomorrow is also my hardest day of the week because I run the board and triage all afternoon by myself, meaning I'm responsible for all of the patients in labor. It's a lot of responsibility and I'm still pretty darn slow. But I'm usually too busy to think about being hungry.

Tomorrow the other interns and I are planning on doing some anatomy review and so I'll either hit the gym late or not at all. We'll see how I'm feeling. Anywho, I didn't take any photos today - sorry about that!

What's your favorite summer activity? I definitely love to be outdoors swimming in a pool or on the beach!

Busy life and feeling down on myself

Sorry for the lack of the blogging lately. I've been stupid busy lately, which I'm sure no one saw coming ;-)

Since chatting with you on Tuesday, I've met with my trainer again, seen Trainwreck, gone to bed at 7:30 and worked until 11 p.m.

On Wednesday I had another training appointment with Troy. This time he created a circuit for me that was pretty hard. First, I did plate pushes, followed by step-knees (where I held some weights and stepped up on an aerobic step), followed by plate pushes again, followed by inchworms, followed by push-ups, followed by sit-ups, followed by battle ropes. I did that twice and then did a circuit where I kept doing the activity until he told me to move on to the next one. After that, I did some wall sits and then did some more battle ropes. It was a hard, sweaty workout and I'm glad it was a full body workout - last time we just focused on back and shoulders and I felt as though I didn't get that great of a workout. This time was way better. After training, I rushed home to change and run to Jimmy John's before meeting up with some other residents to go see Trainwreck, the new Amy Schumer movie. I thought it was pretty good. I'm not her biggest fan given that she can be a bit crude, but I laughed a lot and enjoyed myself.

On Thursday, I was really tired. Likely from staying out so late (read: past 10 p.m.) and I ended up really slowing down during the day Thursday. Thursday was also a fasting day, but I didn't do a great job because I went to Trader Joe's after work and ended up eating a whole bag of turkey jerky (which is only about 250 calories), but I also ate a bunch of watermelon and shrimp. So, I went over my calorie goal for a fasting day and felt kinda shitty about it. Shitty enough to weigh myself Friday morning and discover I'd made no weight loss progress.

Friday I had the distinct pleasure of working the long shift - 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. My Fridays are usually pretty chill with ultrasound in the morning and clinic in the afternoon. Then I covered consults and C-sections in the evening and there were a lot of them. Go figure. But I liked being able to stay busy until I got to go home.

Today I woke up, showered, and went to see the chiropractor for the first time. Given that I'm an MD, most people in my profession think that chiropractors are not real doctors since they never went to medical school. However, they learned something I never did: how to manipulate people's musculoskeletal system. Anywho, since about May, I've been waking up with really bad low back pain and hip pain. It usually goes away a few hours after I wake up, but it's pretty excruciating when I have it. So, I decided it was time to give something a little less traditional a try. 

The chiropractor explained to me that my SI joint were probably out of whack. He explained that lying still on a misaligned SI joint could lead to the kind of pain I was having in the morning and then he adjusted me. He told me to take the rest of the day easy and the real test would be after I'd taken a nap or gone to sleep for the first time - basically, would I still be in pain after waking up? Well, I'm happy to say that after waking up from my nap today, my low back didn't hurt for the first time in at least a month. So, I'm pretty pumped about that. My hips are a bit sore, but I'm pretty sure that's because things have been so massively adjusted. I'm planning on going 1-2 times a week for adjustments for a while. He's being very kind and working with my schedule to allow me to come after work.

Those are my highlights. My lowlights have been some crummy feelings lately. I think I expect a bit too much of myself personally and professionally. I still feel as though I don't know what I'm doing at work and that I have so much to learn that I'm never going to be a competent physician. I know I have to suck for a while, but I'm having a hard time swallowing that pill. I'm used to putting in a lot of work and seeing some rewards, but no matter how hard I try, I'm still slow, stupid, and not so great. On top of all that jazz, I haven't lost any weight this week. So, I'm just a bit down on myself. That being said, I was told by a nurse this week that I was the star intern, so maybe I shouldn't be so damn hard on myself.

Anyway, I'm headed off to work a night shift (7 p.m. to 7 a.m.). Then tomorrow I'm headed to see a med school friend, who will likely help me ground myself in real expectations.

Three photos for you:

Dinner/breakfast today

Thursday's breakfast

Wednesday's breakfast

What do you like to do when you're feeling down? Depending on how down I'm feeling, I'll either talk to someone, work out, or completely avoid all the things.