Food Photos and Accountability

Because of the aforementioned blogging frenzy, I took photos of my food today. Because, accountability. I don't know if that led me to eat more healthy stuff or if it led me to eat less junk stuff, but today's eats were pretty legit. I finished my 24 hour shift, drove home, made some eggs to eat alongside my yogurt drink and then ate them while doing therapy. Once done with breakfast, I hopped on my treadmill and completed my therapy session while walking. Movement therapy? Check. Talk therapy? Check. Bad ass multitasking? Check. Killing it.

I showered and then immediately passed out due to working a 24 hour shift. That being said, while in the midst of trying to sleep, I was so hungry. Like so, so hungry. I figured eating would be dumb because I was about to be unconscious, but I feel like I've been really hungry a lot lately and I don't know why. About 15 minutes before my alarm was due to go off, I got up, ate some lunch, and then one of my pals came over so we could go for a walk. She's also a doc and so it's hard for us to find time to spend together because we have garbage schedules, so we got to catch up and get some movement in. Killing it again. We're also hoping to do some more movement activities when we meet up in the future.

The rest of the day I spent with the kiddos. We took down the outdoor Halloween decorations, made a trip to Costco, and then had breakfast for dinner. This is an easy go-to meal when we need something fast but also when we don't want to hear incessant whining about how horrible it is that we make the kids eat dinner.

After dinner, the kids asked for some of their Halloween candy. I had tucked it all away before they got home because they often forget about yummy treats if they can't see them. The little dude remembered so I let them choose two pieces after dinner. My mom thinks I'm a buzzkill, but maybe if I were taught to limit myself, I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in now. Who knows?

Anywho, I packed some good stuff for work tomorrow and will hopefully get a good number of steps in on my walking pad. I'm also ignoring election stuff completely right now because the stress is real! (I already turned in my ballot, don't worry).

Breakfast: 3 scrambled eggs fresh from the farm

An internet photo of my yogurt drink

My protein drink while my lunch heated up

Leftover beef pot pie for lunch

Me and my walking pal - we did 3.26 miles in an hour

Post-walk snack

Dinner; not pictured is another serving of eggs

Ate half of this pancake, but ultimately was underwhelmed and didn't finish it

Kiddos doing homework with Nana

Zayd's toothbrush photo

Reyah's toothbrush photo

Onwards to another post of me killing it tomorrow! Planning on a weigh-in on Wednesday because, duh. Alliteration.

A Blogging Frenzy Ahead

Alas, Dear Reader, losing weight is hard and I've been avoiding blogging because I feel like I could be doing better. I have been doing my walking pad at work, but I haven't been in clinic much. I've also been getting my 10k steps a day, but my work outs haven't been very intense. I've been having trouble making healthier choices and eating more snacks than necessary. My scale is showing some weight gain. I have good intentions about the next day as I lay in bed at night, but then when it comes to putting those thoughts into practice - poof! Motivation's gone! 

So, I am going to start using this thing for what I meant it to be for in the first place: amusing ramblings for my countless fans to read accountability/motivation. I'm going to try to take photos of my meals and post them. I'm going to update you on my workouts. And I'm going to try to set a weekly goal and hit it. So, this week's goal is going to be blogging every day. Let's achieve some shit!

Halloween cuties

Toothbrush photo

Looking so grown

Watching at ice skating

Day 29/365: Balance stuggles

I've taken a slightly accidental hiatus from the blog. I had my annual board examination yesterday (read: 5 hours of being shocked at how little you know about the field you practice in) and I needed some study time. Now that that's over, I will continue to do some consistent reading and some more blogging.

In other updates, I've returned to facebook. I'm not really sure why, to be honest, but simply because I felt like I was missing out on stuff. However, I'm not using it on my phone and give myself 10ish minutes on it everyday because I do get some interesting ideas and updates from it, like recipes, workouts, how to decide what fruit is ripe, and how to take down the Trump regime, etc.

Anywho, I'm going to see you guys tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten about you! Cheers!

Day 2/365: Articles and blooping

One of the things I'm trying to do since quitting facebook is fill my idle time with reading positive things about weight loss. I figure that in so doing, I will remain positive about my recommitment to my weight loss journey. Also, I have a lot of idle time now that I've rid myself of facebook. 

I read two that I wanted to share today. The first is about how to lose 100 pounds. Now, I don't think I'll lose quite that much, but the main point of the article that I resonated with was slow and steady wins the race. I'm someone who wants results fast. I figure why do something slowly if you can do it fast? But this was a nice little reminder that losing weight is a daily commitment.

The other article I liked was How to Tell Others About Your Weight Loss Goals. At the end of the article, there's a sample letter. I've copied and pasted it below because it resonated with me so much:

Dear (Kids/Hubby/Wife/Partner/Friend),

I have committed to making some big changes. I'm trying to eat nutritious foods, exercise regularly, and live a healthy life. It hasn't been easy, but I'm taking these commitments seriously, and I would appreciate any help you can offer.

Be honest with me. I am overweight, and I want to lose weight safely and slowly. Listen to me and offer me advice, but please don't minimize the problem.

Stop lecturing me. Talk to me like you care about me, but please don't yell at me, nag me, or criticize me for wanting to change for the better.

Let me be in control. It's my choice. No one besides me can decide how much weight I'll lose, how I'll do it, or whether I want to lose it in the first place.

Don't monitor my food. Don't tell me I don't need a second helping or such a large portion. It only makes me feel bad about myself, which sometimes leads me to overeat.

Be there for me. Support me, encourage me, and compliment me. I want your help finding affordable ways to exercise and I'd like more healthful foods in the house. Better yet, start eating better and exercising alongside me! I want us all to live long, healthy, happy lives.

Don't exclude me. Don't make me the black sheep because I'm eating differently. Instead of focusing on me, try to get the entire family to take small steps to eat better. Don't make fun of me because I'm overweight or trying to lose weight.

Love me. Tell me that you love me regardless of what the scale says. Tell me I'm smart, beautiful/handsome, successful, loveable and talented at any weight. I need to hear it.

Be patient with me. Losing weight doesn't happen overnight. I want to commit to good habits and that takes time, patience, and sometimes more than one try.

Be realistic. I might never be as skinny as you or others might want me to be. But I will be a happier, healthier—and yes, lighter—me.

Thanks for listening, and please take this advice to heart.

Love,

Your name

I think the thing I liked the most was the food monitoring comment and the love me part. I eat in secret because I'm ashamed of what people would think of me and I think it's important that I break that cycle by telling people to politely mind their own fucking business. Also, the love me part hit me square in the old ticker because I am my own worst enemy and it's good to have people there to be your cheerleaders.

Anywho, I just thought I'd share because those articles spoke to me.

In other news, I tracked [laboriously] all day today. Nasur took the car and we were supposed to work out after work, but a) he didn't dress for the gym and b) it was 7:45 p.m. by the time I got home and raining so, c) I didn't want to go out again and d) I was really effing hungry. Thus, I made dinner and I played my new Just Dance 2017 on my Wii for a half hour. Something's better than nothing!

Dinner

Now I'm blogging while pooping (perhaps I should call this blooping) - multitasking at its finest!

LOOK AT MY BATHROOM PRINT

 See you tomorrow, blooping pals!

HUGE New Life Chapters

So tomorrow I start a really huge new chapter in my life. Tomorrow, I walk into the hospital as a brand spankin' new doctor. It's about 90% exciting and 10% pure terror. That being said, I'm sure I'll be fine. I finally get to do what I want to do and focus on what I truly love to do, so once I figure things out in fourth year soon, I'm sure I'll be having a lot of fun.

That being said, since tomorrow is a brand new chapter in my professional life, I think it should be a brand new chapter in my personal life - a chapter where I also try to work towards making myself better and happier. 

If you were a reader way back in 2010 when I started this here blog, you'll know that I made some awesome progress in my weight loss and health goals. If you followed my random posts throughout med school, you probably had to read between very wide-spaced lines to know that it wasn't going well. Med school took over my life and so did a bit of fear. I became so scared of failure in school that it slowly found its way into every aspect of my life and I just stopped trying. If I was struggling to do well in school, why did I deserve to feel good? If I couldn't find the time to study, I shouldn't reward myself with a sweaty workout. And one of the reasons I started the blog in the first place was to use it as a very public forum to help shame motivate myself into working hard toward my goals. Well, the guilt and shame for letting down my readers definitely set in and then I stopped being so public.

But here's the thing: I'm going to make mistakes - I'm never going to be perfect. But, damn it, I deserve to be happy and to be healthy. And here's the other thing: people aren't going to stop loving me or looking to me as a role model if I slip up or act like a real human. So, I'm going remember those things while I work towards that by working on my diet and trying to add in some exercise everyday. I'm going to make healthier choices. I'm going to hit the gym - there's one that is literally in the plaza where I work and another one 5 minutes from home. My gym bag is going to live in my car so that I go to the gym before I go home. My water bottle will be handy so I hydrate rather than shove food into my mouth mindlessly. I'll look at desserts as treats rather than necessities. And above all, I'll start over right away if I slip up. 

I'm also going to incorporate some things into my life that helped me lose weight: friends! I sent out an email tonight with the link to my blog to some of my close friends and family that may or may not have known about this little literary treasure so they can help encourage me along the way.

I'm also going to incorporate monthly measurements! Back in the days when I went to Curves, seeing changes in your measurements was a huge reward and motivation to keep going. So, I bought a tape measurer and got my measurements tonight. I also am only going to step on the scale on a weekly basis - no little check-ins here and there - just every Monday (with the exception of tomorrow cuz I want a legit baseline).

These are what I could remember from Curves

I'm also going to try to include some pics of the daily food choices I make so as to keep things interesting for you because pictures are the best. Here are some from the wedding I went to this weekend:

With the groom

The high school group

With my date ;-)

Aaaand, I'm going to set my first goal: I want to lose 6 pounds from tomorrow's weigh-in in a two-week period (that's 3 pounds a week). If I'm able to achieve this goal, I will buy myself a pretty pair of new shoes!

Thanks for reading! 

Have you ever set any fitness or health goals? Any recommendations or words of advices?

Leaving on a jet plane

I'm quickly blogging on my phone. I'm about to go to bed, but I should have time to do a proper blog tomorrow while I'm sitting in airports. So, look for a better blog tomorrow!

In short though, today was great. I I got in 2 excellent workouts. And I got to hang out with some great friends and eat sushi! I call that a win.

Photos for you and starting fourth year of med school!

Hey friends. So, it's been about a month since I last posted. Things got a bit hectic and the blog was the first thing to go. First of all, I was maid of honor in a wedding, which was a long weekend of fun, but left me with only two weeks to cram for a huge exam at the end of the month. Here are some wedding pics:

Rehearsal dinner - bride's wedding party

Getting ready on the day (L to R): mother of bride, bride, college roommate/bridesmaid, me

We needed you guys to see the back

At the head table with my college roommate

The happy couple

I did pretty well on my end-of-rotation exam as well as the fake patient exam we took earlier in the month, which was 8 hours of fun the day after the bachelorette weekend.

And then my third year ended. It was weird. It essentially ended when my exam was over, which was incredibly anticlimactic. But that night I celebrated with some zumba and dinner out with some friends who were moving away for their clinical rotations the next day. I helped them move on Saturday and then my official one week summer vacation. On Monday, I helped some other friends move and went to yoga for the first time in forever. On Tuesday, some friends and I went to Michigan's Adventure. On Wednesday, I did a whole apartment deep clean and then headed home where I stayed and hung out with the dogs, my mom, and my little sister. My mom fed me and I got to hang out by the pool Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

Michigan's Adventure's biggest roller coaster, Shivering Timbers

Bailey, our smallest pup

Mayzie, our medium pup

Doc, our largest pup (and my personal favorite/buddy)

Now, however, fourth year is starting and I have got to get my shit together. Not just in terms of school work, but in terms of my health. I know I do this every month or so, but man oh man, blogging makes a huge difference in terms of keeping me accountable. It helps me track my food, make better choices, and put my health higher up in terms of priority. So, I'd like to set some fourth year goals. 

Big fourth year goal: Lose the weight I gained in medical school/get back to 210 (or lower)

Little goals: Blog 3-4 times a week

1. Work out 3-4 times a week and keep changing it up: alternate zumba, yoga, strength, and maybe even some swimming!
2. Track, track, track! Weight, food, etc.
• Weekly weigh-ins on Mondays with a 2 pound goal per week
3. No eating out, fast food, or hospital meals - I will pack all my food so I'm more accountable and I will eat what I pack (sometimes I like to pack food and then just buy food anyway)
• When with friends, eating out is okay (just not going out by myself because I'm being lazy)
4. Write a daily positive when blogging
5. Choose to be happy and laugh rather than frown and grumble

That's it, folks. I don't want to be too strict because I know that just fucks with my head. So, there you go. Plain and simple: eat better, work out more, and blog/talk about it!

Thanks in advance for your support. I officially graduate on May 16, 2015, so I'm going to set that as my deadline for my big goal!

Also, some food porn and other photos for you (because I love you):

On his way back to the vet - he's healthier now!

SkipBo with my mom

Dining outdoors - my favorite!

Poolside studying

I am finally done with nights. Last night was the last one. And now I'm fucked into trying to switch back to days and a normal sleep schedule in less than 24 hours. Great. But today was great. I woke up, did a quick pick-up around the apartment, and headed to Kalamazoo to hang out with my sister. We did some poolside studying and she let me do my laundry for free.

I wish I had access to a pool like this everyday. I'd always be there! 

Anywho, tomorrow is supposed to be a weigh-in. I'm not sure the scale will have gone in the direction I wanted - I didn't get in nearly as much gym time as I wanted nor did I eat during my night shifts. But, I guess we'll see.

Also, motivational May is over. I tried to blog everyday. Working nights totally got in the way of that. But, this month I'm going to push myself a bit more. I will continue to blog as much as possible and I want to start running again. Not because I like it, but because I have a 5k in August and I'd rather not struggle the whole time. I think I'm going to do a couch to 5k program. My friend shared a website she used and I think I'll give that a try. I'll keep you updated.

Alright - I'll catch you guys later. I want to get to bed as soon as possible so I can get up early/get my sleep schedule back on track.

TOO BUSY. MUST BLOG.

Holy fuck, you guys. It's been so busy. Like, what happened to my life? I feel like one second, I was chilling, minding my own business and then WHAM! EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE. I have a sneaking suspicion that it's because I legitimately didn't do anything last weekend, but who knows?

Anywho, this is going to have to be brief because my ass has to be awake waaaaay before the sun's does tomorrow. Waking up at 5:30 tomorrow thanks to some day-long conference in East Lansing. Boo.

The hospital today: good patients, good teaching by my attending (again). Got let out at 3:15. Baller. That meant I could definitely hit the gym.

Gym: weight training day. I was hesitant about going because I knew how much shit I had to do tonight, but I went and was surprised that there wasn't even a battle for benches tonight. Baller. Glad I went. It was awkward though when I saw one of my surgery residents who I'm pretty sure thought I was dumb as shit. She looked impressed with my skills with the machines and weights though. So, there's that...?

Post-gym: Ran to meijer despite the fact that I was starving to buy a few essentials for tonight and tomorrow and to get some cash back to put towards gas as we're car pooling in the a.m.

Studying: TOO MUCH TO LEARN. NOT ENOUGH TIME.

Positive of the day: Uh, I helped motivate a friend to get her [teeny] butt to the gym despite the fact that she really, really, really didn't want to. GOOD JOB, FRIEND.

Photos: For your viewing pleasure.

Breakfast

Post-gym snack 

Post-gym smoothie in my favorite measuring cup (it was a gift and I lurrrve it)

Snack on the way to the grocery store so I wouldn't buy the store

Dinna - I WAS STARVING.

Muffins for tomorrow's commute

Had to at least try one before I packed them up. It was legit.

That's all folks. Weigh in tomorrow morning. Fuuuuuuck. Hooray!

So, it's been a while...

And by a while, I mean a long while. But I think I need to get back to blogging, despite most people having given up on my blog by this point.

So, let's do some quick updates and move on to why I've come back here.

Second year ending
My last post was near the end of my school year last year, which ended rather anticlimactically. Then came summer, during which I had to study for my first set of board exams. Let me tell you, that was rough. So, so rough. The test is about 8 hours in length and tests you over literally everything you've learned in your first two years of medical school...and some things that you'll swear you never learned. It was miserable studying all day every day. I can't tell you how relieved I am that I passed. I never want to be that miserable, stressed, and literally sick to my stomach again.

Third year starting
The good news is that third year is infinitely better than second year thus far. We get to interact with patients and start learning how to do all the things that we came to medical school for in the first place. I was a bit nervous about hating third year, but it's more of where I belong. My first two months were my surgery rotation, which I liked, but the hours and some of the people were rough. We usually worked from 5 a.m. to 6 p.m. That's too much. Then we had a week of nights, a week on trauma, and some 26 hour calls. Blech. Not fun.

Now I'm on my family medicine rotation. People are much nicer and it's definitely got more patient contact hours than does surgery. So far, it's okay. But I'm only two weeks in. I'm definitely liking the hours better and the people are much more kind than the surgery folks.

Why I'm back to blogging
Well, it should surprise no one that I've gained a bit of weight. With surgery, I was able to guarantee myself 2 gym visits a week and there was a lot of procrastination and mindless munching. Now that I'm on family and have a little bit more me time, I'm going to dedicate some more time to that.

Tomorrow will be a weigh-in day and a goal setting day.

Cheers!