Weigh-in and wanting to eat all the things

So, today I decided to weigh in. It's been a while since I've taken a picture of my weight to share with you guys. Probably because I'm not consistent and it's embarrassing...

But, there you are. My goal for next week is 233.2 pounds. I'm hoping I meet it with my increased exercise, my intermittent fasting, and my challenge to myself to take the stairs more often. Speaking of my intermittent fasting, it was so hard today. This is probably because I wasn't busy enough to keep my mind off my belly. Usually, when I'm fasting, I'm super busy, doing a bunch of C-sections, or running the board, but this morning, I simply had a gynecological surgery that I was waiting to go do. And in the afternoon, it wasn't crazy busy - it was just normal busy. So, I wasn't very distracted. I almost opted to go home to eat first versus going to the gym first because of how hungry I was. I knew that would be a mistake though, because once I'm home, I become one with the couch. So, I made it through my day fasting. When I got home, I was like this: 

Instead, I munched on some pickles, ate a cheese stick, and put together a sandwich with some pretzels. It must have been my lack of eating anything all day, but man oh man, the flavors were legit today. I really savored the tastes of everything I had and it was delicious. The most delicious thing was my dessert glass of Egg Nog. That shit is delicious. I understand that Egg Nog can be a polarizing topic, but if you hate it, you're wrong entitled to your own opinion.

Tomorrow, I have a personal training, which should be good. I am still in lots of pain from the squats over the weekend, so if I die, it's because of too many squats. But, mostly I expect personal training to be good so it will be, damn it!

Anywho, that's all I've got. I'm crazy tired because it took me a while to fall asleep last night and because I woke up stupid early. Peace out, folks.

A few bad days doesn't mean failure

I have to admit, I had plenty of time to blog over the weekend, but I didn't want to blog over the weekend because I was eating poorly and I didn't want to admit it. I binged a bit on Saturday and felt bad about myself. And I didn't start to spiral, per se, but I did get into the whole, "Well, you may as well call today a wash," type of feeling. Today, however, I had personal training with my new personal trainer, Jack. And I was a bit nervous because I hadn't been to the gym since last Wednesday given my crazy work schedule - Thursday was late stay (until 6:30), Friday was later stay (until 11pm), and I worked Sunday and Monday (the holiday that most everyone else gets off). Sooo, yes, I could have gone to the gym Saturday, but I was all: I want the afternoon and evening to be with my friends and my morning to catch up with life at home (i.e., cleaning, balancing my budgets, etc).

Anywho, I digress. I met with my personal trainer today and I was nervous because of the lack of working out. I know it hadn't been a full week, but I was all, "Oh, shit. I'm going to be super out of shape and he's going to notice and judge me." And then you know what? I rocked my workout. I got in a good 28 minutes of elliptical before my session and then I rocked my session. Jack had to remind me to take breaks because he told me I was being too much of a machine. But, I wanted to keep the energy up and keep my heart rate up, so I kept on going. We focused on back, triceps, and something else (probably biceps given the way my arms are feeling). I'm probably going to be all jiggly armed tomorrow, which might be a bad thing given the fact that I have 6 surgeries...

Anywho, the eats today were decent. The trough (which is where the residents get free lunch) was legitimately all carbs. I grabbed some veggie lasagna (one scoop) and then one scoop of mac and cheese (which was SO GREASY) and filled the rest of my plate with salad. I ate a pear as well and then was treated to a yogurt by a co-resident when I complained that I was still hungry.

Tomorrow is going to be a fasting day, which should be relatively easy with my back-to-back surgeries. I'm thinking I may also fast on Thursday and Friday because my sweet tooth has been majorly flaring and a nice food reset may be in order. We'll see.

Today's breakfast

Today's dinner

The Memorial Day weekend team

Sunday night reading by the lake

I love being so close to the water!

That's all for now. No weigh-in this week - I'm on my period and I didn't want to face the scale after my overeating this weekend. I'll do a weigh-in next Monday!

What do you do when you've had a bad eating day or meal? How do you convince yourself to hop back on the wagon?

Baking compliments of the interwebs

Though today was an early rise day, I felt pretty good about it. I wasn't in any pain, which was great. Getting to work at 5? Not so great. And staying at work until 7? Also not my favorite. But, I had a good day. I got to do some C-sections in the morning and kept busy running around in triage in the afternoon. I only got tired when we sat down for lectures in the afternoon. That's also about when I got hungry since it was a fasting day.

And since it was a fasting day, I hurried on home once I got off work so I could eat. I was planning on exercising, but I started getting a hunger headache and I knew working out would be a bitch. So, I guess tonight is another relaxation night? But don't you worry - tomorrow is my long workout day and I'm super looking forward to it!

And since it was my relaxation night, I baked a little bit. I tried a new healthier cookie recipe that was awesome. The dough was pretty darn good and I tried two of the cookies - one from each cookie sheet. I'll take the rest in for work because I'll eat them all myself if I keep them. The other residents are a big fan of me liking to bake so much - the zucchini bread was a big hit earlier this week. 

That's about it for me right now!

Any healthy recipe sites you guys like? That blog for the cookie recipe is pretty legit and I am looking forward to trying some other recipes.

High protein breakfast for the fasting day

This is what it looks like driving to work at 4:45 a.m., in case you wanted to know

Part one of dinner

Part two of dinner

Cookies - I burned these a bit; the second batch was better 

Weigh-in and trying something new

So, today I was hesitant about whether or not I wanted to weigh in given that mid-week last week I hadn't lost any weight (I had actually gained like 0.2-0.4 pounds) and didn't have much of an opportunity to go to the gym: I worked late Friday, got adjusted on Saturday (and my chiropractor told me no gym afterwards), and then I went to hang out with friends on Sunday. I was thinking I would "forget," but then I decided that I owed it to myself to be honest with myself. So, I weighed in.

Now, it's only a 0.6 pound loss since last week, but I'll take it since a) I'm back in the 230s and b) it's still a loss. I'm using this as a motivation to lose that 4.4 pounds to get new shoes. It's going to mean a lot of on point eating and high intensity work outs with strength training. I think I can do it!

In other news, I noticed that I bruised my hand yesterday playing frisbee. I didn't know that was a thing.

I'm not sure you can see it, but it's at the base of my index finger and when I hit it on the steering wheel just right, it was a little jolt of pain. Otherwise, don't worry - I think I'll make it.

Also, on the good news train: I woke up without back or hip pain today. I think I'm going to go for an adjustment tomorrow after work and then go for a swim at the gym, since swimming is something I'm supposedly allowed to do. Now, I've never gone swimming in a public pool since high school because I have this weird thing where I feel compelled to plug my nose at all times when I'm underwater. Fortunately, I have a nose plug. I also have a crappy pair of goggles. So, I tried on some of my one pieces last night and found one that'll do the job and have promised myself I'll go after being adjusted tomorrow. And I have to say, props to me for trying something completely new and out of my comfort zone. 

Today at work was a typical Monday for me: slow morning and fast afternoon. It was also a fasting day, so I tried to keep breakfast smaller, so I omitted the bread in exchange for a yogurt protein smoothie. It was a good choice, I guess. However, around 9:00 a.m., my stomach started audibly growling. Whoops.

After work, the interns got together to study some good stuff. Today we discussed preterm labor and reviewed some basic anatomy. And, Alisha was kind enough to feed us some legit white chicken chili, which I've never had before. It seemed like it was pretty healthy, so despite not being able to control my own food on a fasting day, I think I was pretty close with my calorie goal for the day.

Learning

So, wish me luck on my new things tomorrow! Do you have to psych yourself up for trying a new activity or are you really easy going? Any tips for being nervous about making an ass of myself?

Busy life and feeling down on myself

Sorry for the lack of the blogging lately. I've been stupid busy lately, which I'm sure no one saw coming ;-)

Since chatting with you on Tuesday, I've met with my trainer again, seen Trainwreck, gone to bed at 7:30 and worked until 11 p.m.

On Wednesday I had another training appointment with Troy. This time he created a circuit for me that was pretty hard. First, I did plate pushes, followed by step-knees (where I held some weights and stepped up on an aerobic step), followed by plate pushes again, followed by inchworms, followed by push-ups, followed by sit-ups, followed by battle ropes. I did that twice and then did a circuit where I kept doing the activity until he told me to move on to the next one. After that, I did some wall sits and then did some more battle ropes. It was a hard, sweaty workout and I'm glad it was a full body workout - last time we just focused on back and shoulders and I felt as though I didn't get that great of a workout. This time was way better. After training, I rushed home to change and run to Jimmy John's before meeting up with some other residents to go see Trainwreck, the new Amy Schumer movie. I thought it was pretty good. I'm not her biggest fan given that she can be a bit crude, but I laughed a lot and enjoyed myself.

On Thursday, I was really tired. Likely from staying out so late (read: past 10 p.m.) and I ended up really slowing down during the day Thursday. Thursday was also a fasting day, but I didn't do a great job because I went to Trader Joe's after work and ended up eating a whole bag of turkey jerky (which is only about 250 calories), but I also ate a bunch of watermelon and shrimp. So, I went over my calorie goal for a fasting day and felt kinda shitty about it. Shitty enough to weigh myself Friday morning and discover I'd made no weight loss progress.

Friday I had the distinct pleasure of working the long shift - 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. My Fridays are usually pretty chill with ultrasound in the morning and clinic in the afternoon. Then I covered consults and C-sections in the evening and there were a lot of them. Go figure. But I liked being able to stay busy until I got to go home.

Today I woke up, showered, and went to see the chiropractor for the first time. Given that I'm an MD, most people in my profession think that chiropractors are not real doctors since they never went to medical school. However, they learned something I never did: how to manipulate people's musculoskeletal system. Anywho, since about May, I've been waking up with really bad low back pain and hip pain. It usually goes away a few hours after I wake up, but it's pretty excruciating when I have it. So, I decided it was time to give something a little less traditional a try. 

The chiropractor explained to me that my SI joint were probably out of whack. He explained that lying still on a misaligned SI joint could lead to the kind of pain I was having in the morning and then he adjusted me. He told me to take the rest of the day easy and the real test would be after I'd taken a nap or gone to sleep for the first time - basically, would I still be in pain after waking up? Well, I'm happy to say that after waking up from my nap today, my low back didn't hurt for the first time in at least a month. So, I'm pretty pumped about that. My hips are a bit sore, but I'm pretty sure that's because things have been so massively adjusted. I'm planning on going 1-2 times a week for adjustments for a while. He's being very kind and working with my schedule to allow me to come after work.

Those are my highlights. My lowlights have been some crummy feelings lately. I think I expect a bit too much of myself personally and professionally. I still feel as though I don't know what I'm doing at work and that I have so much to learn that I'm never going to be a competent physician. I know I have to suck for a while, but I'm having a hard time swallowing that pill. I'm used to putting in a lot of work and seeing some rewards, but no matter how hard I try, I'm still slow, stupid, and not so great. On top of all that jazz, I haven't lost any weight this week. So, I'm just a bit down on myself. That being said, I was told by a nurse this week that I was the star intern, so maybe I shouldn't be so damn hard on myself.

Anyway, I'm headed off to work a night shift (7 p.m. to 7 a.m.). Then tomorrow I'm headed to see a med school friend, who will likely help me ground myself in real expectations.

Three photos for you:

Dinner/breakfast today

Thursday's breakfast

Wednesday's breakfast

What do you like to do when you're feeling down? Depending on how down I'm feeling, I'll either talk to someone, work out, or completely avoid all the things.

No shoes for me

So, today started out with a womp, womp. I just missed it with my weigh-in today!

My goal was 240.2 and I missed it by 0.8 pounds. Too bad. No new shoes for me! But, I did lose 5.2 pounds, so I'm happy about that. And I'm going to try again. I'm going to set another goal: 2 weeks - 5 pounds. I'm sure this will be a bit harder because I just lost 5.2 pounds in 2 weeks, but I also know that I can do it. And it's been a bit since I've been in the 230s. And I want those new shoes, damn it. So I'm really going to try to pull it out this time. I'm thinking adding in the strength training will help me this time when I mostly did cardio over the last two weeks.

The rest of today was pretty good. It was a busy day and it was also a fast day, so I started the day out with a hefty breakfast and then waited until dinner out at a Korean restaurant with my coworkers to eat again. 

I hmmed and hawed through the day as to whether or not I wanted to go, but then almost everyone was going to go and I didn't want to be the odd resident out. So, I went and enjoyed myself and was definitely glad I went. The only downside was that the restaurant was a bit far from home, so I didn't get home until 8:30ish. So, I hurriedly washed my face and brushed my teeth and now I'm blogging and I don't have a lot of photos - sorry! I didn't snap any pictures of the food at dinnerbecause there was so much of it - it was family style and I would've felt a bit creepy. But, there was a lot of meat and veggies. We also had to eat with chopsticks, so it slowed me down a bit ;-)

Tomorrow I'm planning on doing a cardio day given that I have personal training on Wednesday and don't want to be too sore for it. I'm also still a bit sore from the strength training I did on Friday.

Anyone have a favorite ethnic food? That was my first time trying Korean food and it was pretty delicious!