Day 288/365: Honestly sucking

Well, I'm pretty sure I had the shittiest day one in the history of day ones. First of all, when my alarm went off this morning, I was like "Eff waking up early." So, I went back to bed until 8:40 a.m. Now, I know you think that's lazy, but back off for a second. I typically have to get up at 5:00 a.m. or earlier and this weekend I have two 24 hour shifts and I need to stock up on sleep. So, any opportunity to go to sleep longer is an opportunity I grab as fast as possible. That being said, I felt bad that I had already reneged on a promise to myself. 

Then at work, it was IVF week. That means that we were transferring embryos into some mommy-to-bes. That also means that it was the normal amount of patients plus all the IVF transfers. that means we worked through lunch which means we ate what we were given, which was sub sandwiches, cookies, and chips. I had the sandwich and a cookie. I set aside the chips for myself, but when I thought about it, I really wasn't craving the chips and I decided to put them back. However, on my way home from work (at 6:30 p.m.), I grabbed two more cookies. Real healthy, Danika.

I also told myself I would hit up the gym on my way home. Yeah, right. I needed to go grocery shopping and get some major studying done, so that definitely didn't happen. I did, however, stock up the fridge with some good-lucking produce, so I'll count that as a win. So, I think I'm back to 0 in terms of overall outcome today. Tomorrow I'm looking to get into the positives. These are my goals for tomorrow:

1. Up at 7:00 a.m. to hit the gym
2. Calorie counting
3. Healthy snacks!

See y'all tomorrow.

Also, I'm going to need some credit for still blogging despite sucking so hard today. Do you know how hard it is to admit that you suck? Really hard!

Napping, selfies, and snacking

Oh man, guys. Yesterday I made the mistake of napping in the afternoon when I had 6 a.m. lecture today. My nap was awesome, but I could not fall asleep until like 2:30 a.m. and then had to wake up by 5:00 a.m. to get to work by 6. Not cool. I was very le tired this morning. Like couldn't even think about putting in my contacts tired because I would likely scratch the hell out of my cornea or miss my eye or poke my eye out - you know, real world problems ;-)

So, anywho, I had a lovely day at work and then came home and napped hard. My intention was two hours - turned into 4+. Oops. And then I hit up the gym and had a pretty legit workout. I easily beat the elliptical and then came home and studied a bit. Now I'm freezing my butt off in my apartment thanks to the ridiculous Michigan weather and even more ridiculous wind, pushing the cold in through all the cracks. My apartment was a chilly 61° when I got home. And even though I turned the heat on to 68°F, the heat is primarily working in the living room, so I'm camping out here while I blog and watch the Arrow. I'm hoping my office/bedroom while be warm enough once I go back to bed.

In other news, I hit up the grocery store yesterday while I was hungry, which was a rookie mistake. I bought some of my favorite pretzels as well as some chocolate, which I really didn't need. I basically turned the chocolate and pretzels into meals the last two days, which was a mistake. Buuuut, I've already turned it around. Go me! Hitting up the gym, hydrating, and not snacking just to snack. Tomorrow I'll log calories and take photos of all my food just for you/mostly for me. 

Some photos for you to hold you over until tomorrow:

Breakfast for my day of surgery

Scrub selfie (they really do nothing for your shape)

This upgrade took foreverrrrr

But look at the new colorful thinking thing!

I think that's about all I've got for now. Tomorrow I have clinic in the morning. I intend to hit up the gym after clinic, get some good studying in, and then head back to work (I have a 4:45 p.m. to 11 p.m. shift). I'll cut myself off from eating around 8 p.m. so that once I get home I am able to hit the hay and get some good sleep so I can study like a maniac all weekend. My test is on Monday (and Tuesday)!

A few bad days doesn't mean failure

I have to admit, I had plenty of time to blog over the weekend, but I didn't want to blog over the weekend because I was eating poorly and I didn't want to admit it. I binged a bit on Saturday and felt bad about myself. And I didn't start to spiral, per se, but I did get into the whole, "Well, you may as well call today a wash," type of feeling. Today, however, I had personal training with my new personal trainer, Jack. And I was a bit nervous because I hadn't been to the gym since last Wednesday given my crazy work schedule - Thursday was late stay (until 6:30), Friday was later stay (until 11pm), and I worked Sunday and Monday (the holiday that most everyone else gets off). Sooo, yes, I could have gone to the gym Saturday, but I was all: I want the afternoon and evening to be with my friends and my morning to catch up with life at home (i.e., cleaning, balancing my budgets, etc).

Anywho, I digress. I met with my personal trainer today and I was nervous because of the lack of working out. I know it hadn't been a full week, but I was all, "Oh, shit. I'm going to be super out of shape and he's going to notice and judge me." And then you know what? I rocked my workout. I got in a good 28 minutes of elliptical before my session and then I rocked my session. Jack had to remind me to take breaks because he told me I was being too much of a machine. But, I wanted to keep the energy up and keep my heart rate up, so I kept on going. We focused on back, triceps, and something else (probably biceps given the way my arms are feeling). I'm probably going to be all jiggly armed tomorrow, which might be a bad thing given the fact that I have 6 surgeries...

Anywho, the eats today were decent. The trough (which is where the residents get free lunch) was legitimately all carbs. I grabbed some veggie lasagna (one scoop) and then one scoop of mac and cheese (which was SO GREASY) and filled the rest of my plate with salad. I ate a pear as well and then was treated to a yogurt by a co-resident when I complained that I was still hungry.

Tomorrow is going to be a fasting day, which should be relatively easy with my back-to-back surgeries. I'm thinking I may also fast on Thursday and Friday because my sweet tooth has been majorly flaring and a nice food reset may be in order. We'll see.

Today's breakfast

Today's dinner

The Memorial Day weekend team

Sunday night reading by the lake

I love being so close to the water!

That's all for now. No weigh-in this week - I'm on my period and I didn't want to face the scale after my overeating this weekend. I'll do a weigh-in next Monday!

What do you do when you've had a bad eating day or meal? How do you convince yourself to hop back on the wagon?

Peds and pizza

Once I'm awake and showered, I'm a pretty functional person. That whole getting out of bed thing is still a struggle and it was again today. But, today at work was fine. I'm on my peds rotation and I'm doing inpatient work, which means I get to hang out with the kiddos who are sick enough to be in the hospital. For the most part, we spend a lot of time rounding. We get there in the morning at 6:30 a.m., hear about all the kiddos and what happened overnight. Then we go see our assigned kiddos. Then we sit and talk about them until 11 a.m. Then we go and do family rounds to update the family as to the plan for their child's care that day, which can last until 1 p.m. Then we get a break for lunch, work on following up on all the day's plans, do some teaching stuff, and then we're back in the room to talk about the kiddos at 5 p.m. and let the night team know what we did. 

After work today, I hit the gym, then came home and overindulged a bit. I ate some granola, but also munched on foods while I was making lunch (mostly veggies, but still) and then ate some leftover homemade pizza. So, not the best, but definitely not the worst. I'm making progress!

Some pics from today (sorry, lunch pics aren't included cuz tupperware isn't that cute):

Breakfast

Post-gym snack

Frozen protein oatmeal with peanut butter and milk 

That's all for today - sorry it was brief. I gotta study and get to bed!