Day Off..Ish?

Since we're moving soon and have a vacation in the middle of the moving process, I woke up ready to hit things hard. I made a to do list last night and tried really hard to get it all done. I got pretty close! The big goal for this move is to not move anything that we're not going to use. Since moving into this house, we've outgrown a lot of stuff since the kiddos are outgrowing stuff quickly. Rather than actually get rid of stuff, we've just put it in boxes and stored it. So, now we're tasked with going through all of it. It's not terribly fun.

Today, I woke up and did the kids' laundry. I emptied the dishwasher, put away laundry that Nasur left in the dryer and randomly throughout the laundry room, put together some mail for some folks, switched the laundry and then headed outside to do the weeding that was long overdue. Nasur did the easy weeding a few weekends ago, so I did the harder stuff. Now that we know this house will be belonging to someone else, I figured I should probably tidy up the lawn. My standards aren't terribly high for myself, but I want someone else to love this house and I want our landlords to know we really appreciated being able to live here. Since it was super hot, I lasted about an hour outside and then went inside to get the laundry folded and put away. Once inside, I called the inspection dude and representatives for 5 different moving companies to get quotes. Then I went through my closet and decided what to donate and what to keep. Things that I've never worn since moving into this house got the axe. I also went through the trouble of trying to sell my very expensive nursing tops once more before giving up and donating them. This was very labor intensive. I tried this once before and sold about half, so here's hoping I can make a bit more money. But man, there are a lot of scammers out there. After my closet, I went through my bathroom stuff and packed everything I wouldn't need prior to our move. I tossed a lot of expired stuff and then moved to the bureau in the kitchen and organized it and tossed things we didn't need. Nasur arrived in the midst of this spree, so we went to the basement and went through a few boxes of kids' clothes. We plan to take them to the secondhand kids store and get store credit. They donate what they don't accept, so hopefully this is somewhat lucrative. We also went through the laundry room, hall closet, and cabinets over the oven. He went and grabbed the kiddos while I made dinner. After dinner, I finished my weeding. The lawn looks tres bueno, but that was a ton of work. The kids "helped," so the after dinner portion took a bit.

I just finished precharting. Now I'm going to whip up some breakfast for tomorrow and pack my food so I can stay within my calorie ranges. Tomorrow we get our first shipment of our Factor meals. We'll see how good they are. You're supposed to be able to just cook them and they're supposed to be pretty healthy. Here's hoping!

With how busy today was, I only remembered to snap a photo of lunch/breakfast:

This was the calorie breakdown of lunch

One of the things that I like about this sandwich is subbing a laughing cow wedge for mayonnaise. I feel like I need something creamy, but the calories are waaaay less and it's just as tasty. Cheers!

Mind Fuck

After discontinuing Wegovy, the mindfuckery around food returned quickly. I was back to feeling like bingeing. I was back to feeling like eating all things unhealthy. I was back to feeling hopeless. I tried to tell myself that I had done this successfully before, but the circumstances were so different. So, I spiraled. And I gave in to all the cravings. And I beat myself up. And I stopped going to the gym. But, then I decided that it didn't have to be this way. So, I sent a message to my obesity medicine doc. She outlined some other choices and we made an appointment to talk about things. We decided to give some daily oral medications a try. I haven't been on it long enough to say for sure that it's a good fit, but it's helped with the food noise so far, but not so much with the feeling full. So, I think I may need to step up my game with food planning and calorie counting while I figure this new stuff out.

I also need to allow myself the time I need for me for the gym. We had a lot going on this week (we went under contract on a house!!!), so naturally, the stress level has been upped, but my natural anxiety release (i.e., exercise) has gone down, so probably need to get back on that.

To set myself up for success this week, I've meal planned lunches and dinners for myself (and the family...ish), I've input recipes into my calorie tracker so it's easier for me to just log what I'm eating. So, here's hoping it gets easier with time!

Calorie tracking

I'm exhausted. I was on call yesterday, but really needed a day to get shit done, so I decided to power through. I ran hella errands today: awesome gym session, contact lens pick up, dollar store trip, phone return, Trader Joe's, car wash, FedEx, Costco, Walmart, and Target. And I got most of the stuff I wanted to get done done, but I'm pooped now because of it.

Right now I'm poaching some chicken to make a pesto chicken salad. I am waiting until it's completely made to calculate the calories, since I'm back to calorie tracking. The poach is taking far longer than I anticipated. The recipe said 20 minutes, but the internal temp isn't quite at 165F, which I'm fairly certain is the temperature chicken is supposed to be cooked to, so I'm waiting not so patiently. It's the only thing standing between me and bed time. 

While shopping today, I tried to pick up some things that I know are relatively healthy and easy for me to eat at work. But, man, the protein bar game has significantly changed since I was last looking. I ended up buying both variety packs of protein bars from Costco in addition to some fiber one protein bars. We shall see. Today I tried both the fiber one protein bars, causing me to go a little over my calorie counts for the day, but they're decent. Nothing amazing, but they don't taste like chalk. How's that for a review for you, lol.

Lunch

Green tea: No calories!

High protein snack

Dinner (believe it or not, the rice and meat servings are less than the recommended serving size)

Reyah wanted a photo of her food

So did Zayders

Nasur did not want his photo taken

Reyah wanted a second photo

I was impressed these were only 90 calories, but it's because they're tiiiiiiny

Tomorrow I have my last physical therapy session after work. I'm unsure how that'll affect my ability to get to the gym. It might be an elliptical at home sort of day. We shall see. 

Here's today's breakdown:

Grieving the end of the Wegovy era

Today I'm grieving my decision to stop Wegovy. I have done six injections of the 1mg dose and the diarrhea is no longer manageable with Imodium. It's explosive and disruptive to my sleep and makes it really hard to get work done, be it in the office, in the OR, or on call. So, I've decided to stop it. I messaged my obesity medicine doctor, who wants me to trial Saxenda. I just worry it'll do the same thing because it's in the same class of medications. But, I guess I should at least give it a try. I will probably wait another week or so before starting because I want to get the Wegovy out of my system for a bit first.

Given that I'm making this change, I figured it's also a good opportunity to think of other things that'll make me more successful in my weight loss. As much as I hate the idea of it, I think I need to get back to calorie counting and taking food photos. I had told myself smaller portions and making better food choices was good enough, but if I really want this, I think this'll help jumpstart more weight loss. I am already killing it at the gym, so I don't have much to add there.

Anywho, here's breakfast from today! I'm getting dressed for the gym shortly and then I have tons of errands to run. I'll do a weigh in on Wednesday.

Aaand because I can't help myself, here are kiddo photos from the weekend:

A little set back

 So, yesterday I was on call and I was hurrying to get to the OR to do a C section and I heard my foot crack. As I age, more and more thinks are cracking and snapping, so I thought nothing of it. Once back in my call room, I wanted to try to get in as many steps as possible before midnight. I knew I likely wouldn't get to 10,000, but I wanted to get as close as possible. After getting about 2500 steps, I had to stop because my left foot was hurting. I didn't think anything of it and went to bed. I woke up in the morning and it was painful to bear weight on it. I was like hmm. That's not great. I made an appointment at urgent care for later in the afternoon and went home.

Things didn't improve at home, so I went off to my appointment and got an x-ray. Nothing broken, so that's good news, but I'm still having pain with weight bearing. The nurse practitioner said maybe I had a sprain. But, I've got no bruising or swelling, so I doubt that's likely either. Nevertheless, the pain is real. So, I've decided to give myself the time I need. I will keep off it so it'll heal faster from whatever it is that I did to it and I will redouble my efforts with my eating so as to offset my less than ideal movement. 

It's probably good timing because I was on call on Saturday and yesterday, and had dinner and drinks out on Friday and had folks over for one last summer shindig on Monday, so my eats have been less than stellar. I have, however, been good about watching my portions, and I've not overdone it on the sweets. But, still, not stellar. 

So, onwards to better eats and calorie tracking and being nice to my foot!

Here are some photos from the weekend!

Reyah with her first ever manicure

Sourdough + homemade pesto + baby heirloom tomatoes + parmesan

Dad life: so hard, lol

Zayders at the lake

The Plan...ish

Hello again, billions of fans folks! Today is a big day! It's reveal my plan day. Are you ready? My plan is... to move more! Did you see that one coming? Probably. I'm also going to do my best to make better food choices and/or log my food more. Let's chat further about these plans.

Once upon a time, when I used to watch Biggest Loser (is that still on?), Dolvett used to say, "If you're not moving, you're not losing." I really took that to heart. So, after work, I'd go to the gym. And then after dinner, I'd go for a bike ride, or I'd go roller blading, or I'd do Wii Dance. I spent most of my evening moving. That was a lot easier to do sans kids and sans a job with insane hours. Nevertheless, I'm going to try to bring that mantra back. Additionally, I am moving my office hours around to allow for more time after work to allow me to get to the gym without mom guilting myself into believing I shouldn't go.

In the past, I used to log all my calories. This was good to keep me in a range that would help me with weight loss. It was also good because it helped me make smarter food choice. A few chips for 100 calories or a bowl full of watermelon for 100 calories? Watermelon, please. I also used to pack my food/snacks in the evenings for the next day so I wouldn't be able to choose something less healthy in the moment for lack of other options. So, also going to work on that! And, lucky for you, I will include food photos! Because seeing what I'm eating can also help me change my mindset.

Now, despite this grand reveal, my biggest goal is going to be sustainability. I need to make changes that I can sustain in the long run or this won't work. Again. I've been able to lose loads of weight in the past (I think my max was about 80-85 pounds), but then I gain it all back. So, I need to make little changes that I can continue to make.

So, here we go, folks! Tomorrow, I'm planning to do a weigh-in. I'm nervous about posting my weight because I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my entire life. But, I'm going to for several reasons. First, I need the accountability. Second, it's always good to establish a baseline. Third, I know folks won't hate. They'll support me in trying to get that number going down. Now here's my summary of today and the things I've started to do already.

I got home from work after having gotten a decent amount of sleep. So, I made a yummy breakfast and waited for my masseuse to arrive at my place for my weekly 90 minute massage (I've become very bougie as an attending). After my massage, I took a nap. I woke up at 2:30, had lunch, and then went for a bike ride. Bike riding used to be one of my favorite forms of exercise. Today, however, it was 88°F with no cloud cover and I didn't bring water and my knee immediately started hurting. So, I just did 30 minutes. My body has to get used to the bike again. Also, I should probably wear my knee brace and/or do some PT exercises. My knee flares up way easier these days. I got home, did some laundry, put away dishes, watched some Netflix and waited till the kiddos were home. We had Hello Fresh for dinner, which Nasur made. Initially, he hogged all the zucchini, but then upon me commenting that he hogged all the zucchini, he gave me his zucchini because he doesn't like it much anyway. After dinner, we went for a walk and let the kiddos run around at the park. Back home for popsicles and bubbles in the backyard before bath time. After bath time and bed time, I went downstairs and walked in place for 15 minutes as a warm up to lift some weights. I wasn't feeling doing much tonight - I'm in the midst of a cold and my energy was zapped. So, I did some walking in place after weights until I got my 10,000 steps (which I've learned was an arbitrary number made up by a Japanese pedometer company). Then I came upstairs to blog! I revealed to you 

Breakfast - my farm fresh eggs!

My eggs cooked up (2 egg whites + one farm egg), avocado, and tomatoes I grew!

Lunch - doesn't look so appealing once reheated, but this was roman gnocchi and watermelon

My bike!

My dinner before stealing the zucch-filled plate of Nasur

Nasur's pasta portion

Any small changes you've made in your life that you've been able to stick to? I, for one cut out soda as well as sour cream with my potatoes. Those are extra calories that I've never really missed. 

Accidental hiker

Since our hike yesterday got rained out, we decided to try again today after checking the weather. It was supposed to be pretty cool and most importantly, dry. We got to Carter Lake and decided to do the 3 mile trail called the Sundance Trail. Perhaps I am super terribly out of shape, but it was hard. And when you go on AllTrails, a bunch of people said it was easy. So, that's insulting. But then some people said moderate or above, so they are my people. We didn't make it the whole 3 miles from shore to shore because the trail was hella rocky with lots of loose rocks and boulders. I was wearing Reyah and we turned around after spending a bit over two hours on our way. On our way back, she kept wiggling out of her carrier, so Nasur took her and oh my God, it was way easier without the extra 20 pounds. I mean, still not fun, but it was a welcome reprieve.

We also weren't the most prepared hikers. We each packed a water bottle and threw it in a backpack that Nasur wore along the way. I made lunch for all three of us and packed it in a cooler, which we left in the car. That was not ideal as we didn't have any food along the way and I think it may have felt less torturous had we eaten. I'm thinking we need to invest in some camelbaks if we want to keep up some hiking adventures. And some common sense may also help: Always. Bring. Food.

Anywho, that took up most our day. I went and soaked in the tub to calm my aching knees and took some motrin when we got home and then Nasur cooked dinner while Reyah and I hung out. 

I don't have much in the way of photos today, but here you go!

Breakfast

Carter Lake from today

Me wearing the nugget

Dinner

Dessert - this stuff tastes like ice cream

Today's totals

Tomorrow I have a bunch of stuff for work tomorrow: professional photos, a white coat fitting, and some occupational health stuff. Hopefully we have time for a bike ride or something - that's a whole lot easier on my knees!

Elliptical of my dreams!

You guys. I bought the elliptical of my dreams this weekend. I'd been trolling Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace for a while because my dream elliptical costs $4000 and that's way too much money. I really wanted a Precor Elliptical without the moving arms because those are the kind that allow you to up the resistance. And then ta-da! There was one on Craigslist! And the guy who was selling it was selling it for $150 (!!!). So, I texted him and then ended up calling him and he told me I would need a truck (don't have one of those) and he'd drop the price to $100. So, Nasur and I rented a pickup truck from Uhaul and headed down to Denver (which is about an hour from us) and we met up with the couple that was selling the elliptical. The guy is a general contractor so he used a forklift to get it up into the truck and then he and Nasur tied it down and we headed back up North. Nasur and I got it out and put it in the garage for the time being. It's not 100% perfect - when the crossramp goes down, it makes an awful noise, but having saved $3900, I'll take it!

Despite having the elliptical in the garage since Sunday, today was my first day using it. And let me tell you, it is a game changer having workout equipment in your own home. I could just pop outside, work out, and be back inside. And Nasur and Reyah came for an encouraging visit. They're so cute. 

I'll be honest though, I only used the elliptical because we got rained out for our hike around Carter Lake today. Womp, womp. Fortunately, our day pass is good until tomorrow so we'll try again tomorrow!

Breakfast

Morning, pre-hike snack

Ingredients for my hiking sandwich

Carter Lake

Carter Lake

Wearing the baby

Rain moving in 

So pretty

What a happy babe

Dinner

Today's calorie count isn't complete. I didn't log my dinner because I wasn't really sure how. When I looked at the HelloFresh nutrition, it was like over 1000 calories, so I halved my pasta portion and roasted some zucchini instead. So, let's just say, dinner wasn't super healthy. And then when I logged into HelloFresh, I've found most of their meals aren't super healthy. They have some "calorie smart" meals, but they're still >500 calories per serving. So I'm guessing we're going to have to go on the hunt for healthier stuff. Bummer. It's so convenient!