Bit of a funk

I started a new medication regimen to help me with my "food noise," which I like to call the mindfuckery of food. You know, where you think about it all the time with like an abnormal amount of obsession surrounding it. I started out using a combo of phentermine and topamax. It helped a bit with curbing my appetite, but it also was too much of a stimulant for me, so I had a hard time sleeping. I went down significantly in dose and I don't know that it's doing much for me at this lower dose. And I'm bingeing again, which is distressing. I miss the wegovy days where I just felt full so much faster and where the mindfuckery was also gone. So, tomorrow, I will try upping my dose a bit. I will take half a tab in the morning (my usual dose) and half a tab at lunch and see if/how it affects my sleep. My obesity medicine doctor recommended this to me as I was starting out this medication, so we'll see if I can make that work. Wish me luck!

Mind Fuck

After discontinuing Wegovy, the mindfuckery around food returned quickly. I was back to feeling like bingeing. I was back to feeling like eating all things unhealthy. I was back to feeling hopeless. I tried to tell myself that I had done this successfully before, but the circumstances were so different. So, I spiraled. And I gave in to all the cravings. And I beat myself up. And I stopped going to the gym. But, then I decided that it didn't have to be this way. So, I sent a message to my obesity medicine doc. She outlined some other choices and we made an appointment to talk about things. We decided to give some daily oral medications a try. I haven't been on it long enough to say for sure that it's a good fit, but it's helped with the food noise so far, but not so much with the feeling full. So, I think I may need to step up my game with food planning and calorie counting while I figure this new stuff out.

I also need to allow myself the time I need for me for the gym. We had a lot going on this week (we went under contract on a house!!!), so naturally, the stress level has been upped, but my natural anxiety release (i.e., exercise) has gone down, so probably need to get back on that.

To set myself up for success this week, I've meal planned lunches and dinners for myself (and the family...ish), I've input recipes into my calorie tracker so it's easier for me to just log what I'm eating. So, here's hoping it gets easier with time!