Calorie Tracking is a Bitch

So today I decided to track my calories. I had the most success with weight loss when I did that before, so I'm not going to reinvent the wheel. As I stated earlier, I'm not planning on cutting out any food groups in particular; I'm just going to try to eat smarter. I'm also working on moving a bit more. This is harder to do with a kiddo around, but I'm going to work on that too. 

This morning, my husband went to Colorado State University to figure out how to enroll in school now that we're here so I was left with the nugget. She has recently decided that 7:00 a.m. is a great time to wake up. Not a fan. She had some boob milk and we made our way downstairs at 8:00. She played while I got myself some breakfast going. 

Avocado English muffin + scrambled eggs (1 egg + 2 egg whites)

Probiotic juice to keep me regular ;-)

Trader Joe's pizza and a serving size of Caesar salad

Nuts

Cantaloupe

Chicken salad + crackers

HelloFresh baja barramundi + leftover Caesar salad

Then the nugget had some puréed peaches and we got her all dressed. She crashed for nap #1 around 10:15 and I showered and did some stuff I wanted to do (steam some green beans for her, buy a new nursing bra since I only have two and one's underwire made a break for freedom, etc). 

Reyah got up at 11:30ish, had lunch with Nasur - she's a fan of green beans like her mama! I had a bit unhealthier lunch than her, but it was noms. I also had to snack between breakfast and lunch because, duh. I'm always hungry.

After lunch, Nasur had to do some car stuff so the nugget and I hung out. She went down for another nap around 3:45 and so I got to make some lemon bars I've been wanting to make for some time now. I also fiddled around with my FitBit to finally get it to work. Nasur gave it to me for my birthday and it has been really finicky but now it's finally working!

Nasur made dinner while I kept the nugget entertained, but I snacked again between meals because I'm always hungry. I'm not sure if breastfeeding makes it worse, but I need food like every 1-3 hours.


Then we got to eat dinner. I'm pretty luck that the husband cooks because it's not for me. Baking requires less patience [if you use a box mix].

Then we opted to take the nugget out on her first bike trailer ride. Our timing probably wasn't excellent as she gets pretty fussy after dinner, but she tolerated it as best she could.

Before going out

During her ride

After, lol

We got home and she was a major fusspants so she had some boob milk and I put her down. She was mad about having to go to sleep, but settled in eventually. Then Nasur and I enjoyed our lemon bars.

It was a box mix - I'm only good at following directions

Only 100 calories!

So, now that the day is done, I can say that I did track every single thing that I ate and wow, I ate a lot.

My calorie range is 1700-2050 per day to allow for a 1.5 pound loss per week. This calculator doesn't include an option to indicate that you're breastfeeding. From what I have read, breastfeeding allows an extra 500 calories a day. So that's more of what I'm shooting for. We'll see how things go. 

Logging calories is a bitch, by the way. It'll get easier once I'm into it more, especially once I'm back to work and have a bit more structure to my day. Also, I did a weigh-in today. I'm thinking I'll try to do this once a week. We'll see.

Thanks for reading!

Day 303/365: Making some goals for November

Okay, so since tomorrow is the start of a new month, I'd be amiss to not take this as an opportunity to set some new goals. Last month, I was really on the wagon for some bits. This month, I'd like to be on the wagon for all the bits. My biggest challenge is going to be being on the calorie counting wagon. 

In terms of counting calories, I've always been really successful when using my food scale. So, I'm going to take one to work and leave one at home. I'm also going to be packing my food as much as possible. This month, I'm working in the hospital, which, contrary to popular belief, allows me a lot of opportunities to eat unhealthy stuff. So, packing will really help with this. Also, it will help me limit my desserts this month. I'd like to say no dessert at all, but that just makes me depressed. So I plan on having dessert on Thanksgiving (or whenever we are able to celebrate it since I'll be working), Interview Day, and once or twice on vacation next week.

My other big challenge will be hitting the gym more consistently. Now that I'll be back at the hospital, I'll be out of work between 5 and 5:30 every night. This is a pretty traffic-heavy time of day. Rather than hit the road to sit in traffic, I'm going to take it as an opportunity to hit the gym and then avoid traffic on my way home. I'm also going to try to be consistent with some kind of exercise when I'm on vacation next week. I tend to take a complete break on vacation. I veg out completely and eat anything in front of my face. This is going to be a healthy-ish vacation. 

In terms of weight, I'd like to lose about 10 pounds this month to get myself some momentum to end the year on a high note. 

Also, photos. I'm going to try my best to remember to snap photos of what I'm eating.

That's all! Toodly loo.

Day 293/365: Working Woman

In my last post, I mentioned that I tend to fall off the wagon as the week goes on. This week, it was only a little bit true. Thursday I went to work and had kind of a rough day. The attending I was working with seemed to be having a rougher day than I was and that doctor took it out on me. I don't really know how to deal with super unconstructive criticism and usually just internalize it, but I talked to my mom on the way home and opted to increase my gym time to work out my frustration and cuss out that attending in my head while ellipticalling. Friday, I took things easier. I worked in the morning then came home and vegged out while watching Project Runway and waiting for Nasur to come home so we could go apple picking

A while ago, I was told about a really good cider mill/apple orchard and wanted to check it out. I was told their donuts were the bomb.com and that their produce was pretty legit. So, we decided to give it a whirl. Plus, it was a beautiful day! The orchard had TONS of apples and all different kinds, so we munched on a few until we found some we like. Then, while we driving back up to the front to pay, we saw they had some tomatoes. My tomato plants finished a while ago, so I had to get some fresh ones. Mmm, I love tomatoes! We also had to get some cider and donuts, obviously.

Nasur by some apple trees 

Apple picking selfie

When we got home, Nasur wanted to do some cleaning. Once a week, he goes certifiably insane and likes to do a deep clean of our condo/apartment. I usually help for about 30 minutes and then play on facebook. He says I do all the cleaning wrong, and I'm not overly motivated to do it the "right" way, so he does all the work. We headed out to get some Chinese for dinner and then came home to watch some Netflix.

Saturday I worked 24 hours at the hospital and it was pretty crazy, per usual. I went home to sleep Sunday morning/afternoon and now I'm back at the hospital to work again. I'm off around 6:30 and don't have to report to the office until 1pm. I'm planning to hit up the gym after work and then shower and relax/nap before heading in if I'm able to sleep. I'm kind of at the mercy of the nurses. If they call a lot and I don't get good sleep, I'll just head home to sleep. If the floor is quiet and they don't need me, I can probably finagle a gym trip in the AM. We'll see what the night brings.

My goals for this week are to adhere a bit better to my calorie ranges. I'm getting back into the groove of hitting the gym so now I've got to focus a bit more on my eating. I'm planning to tote my food scale around with my this week to help me do that. Wish me luck!

Day 289/365: I hit the gym and it didn't hit back

Today, I went to the gym. I didn't go before work because I just cannot give up an opportunity to sleep. I need sleep like I need air to breathe. But, I went to the gym. And as the workday was winding down, I really, really didn't want to go, but I told myself I had to. And once I went, I was glad I did. Per usual. Blah, blah, my inner healthy Danika was right.

I also logged my calories even though I really didn't want to. Mostly because I figured it wasn't going to be great. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Also, I skipped the candy dish because I didn't want to log it. Go me!

Tomorrow we have oral exams downtown. I'm not looking forward to it, but it's a necessary evil. So, wish me luck. I'll see you guys here after!

Day 287/365: My reasons why

I've been hmming and hawing about how to start in this little ol' blog again. For the past 2+ months, I've been trying to get back on the wagon. And for the past 2+ months, I've been making tiny bits of progress while taking huge leaps backwards. I'm not sure how to motivate myself to start this journey again. I do this, "I'll start on Monday," stuff pretty frequently. I also do the, "I'll start fresh next month." I've also eaten a million "this is my last unhealthy meal" meals and that hasn't been helping. So, I'm going to take this one day at a time. Tomorrow is day one. I don't have to be to work until 10:00 a.m. So this lovely ass is getting up at 7:00 a.m. to hit the gym, eat a good breakfast, and get to work with time to spare. Why?

• Because I'm tired of wondering if my seatbelt buckle is digging into me because I'm fat or just because it was made that way
• Because I'm tired of wondering if the flight attendant keeps brushing my arm as she walks by because I'm so fat that it sticks out or because it was an honest mistake
• Because I'm tired of feeling like people look at me like differently when I want a cookie/second piece of pizza/donut/extra cheese
• Because I'm tired of telling myself I'll do it tomorrow
• Because waiting for an "aha" moment to really motivate me hasn't happened
• Because I'd like to not be winded walking up the stairs from the second floor to the sixth floor
• Because I rest only half my ass on the table wondering if it can hold my weight
• Because I feel like I'm losing control
• Because I'm scared I'll look back on this point in my life and wonder why I didn't want to prioritize me
• Because it's terrifying that the REI doctor I work with won't do IVF on anyone with a BMI > 35 and I fit in that category
• Because I'm tired of going to my closet and finding fewer clothes that fit me
• Because I don't need to be afraid of failing, because it happens to everyone all the time
• Because I honestly do want to be healthy
• Because it's exhausting being the fat friend
• Because it's awkward talking about how bad obesity is with patients whose BMI is less than mine
• Because I did actually like running for a bit there
• Because being overweight and pregnant is not a good idea (note: I'm definitely not pregnant - just thinking in the future)
• Because feeling strong felt awesome
• Because the double chin has got to go
• Because the hotel towels not being able to wrap around me is embarrassing
• Because I deserve to feel good about myself
• Because having my XXL scrubs feel tight feels fucking awful
• Because blogging isn't a chore - it's an honor that people want to help me or read these rambling
• Because asking for help is okay
• Because I don't need to be embarrassed that I'm working on myself
• Because I keep holding myself back when I don't need to

And I am logging those damn calories. I will let a little inconvenience help make a big difference. I can do this. Look for another post tomorrow!

Day 38/365: Calories counted!

So today I counted calories and stayed in my ranges, which was my goal. I can see how easy it would be to lose weight if I were to do this everyday. However, I can see how hard it would be to motivate myself to track everything and pack everything the night before. But, we'll see how this week goes!

In other news, I did a whole lot of nothing at work today. No C-sections were called, so there was no surgery for me to do, and because I'm not an intern, no board to be run (by me anyway). I did some studying, some appointment arranging, some tax preparation, and so on. It was a good day for some of those little things that I usually can't get to.

I went to the gym after work today. Nasur said he was going to come, but since he's majorly congested, he opted out. That means that it was a good thing that I had a gym bag packed with me. Otherwise, I definitely would not have gone.  I'm going to try to make going to the gym after work more routine. Unless I'm staying after work for call, I'd like to plan on going. So, I've gotta finish packing my bag before I hit the hay.

Here's to another calorie tracking day tomorrow!

Day 37/365: Calorie Counting

Today, I didn't weigh in - I completely forgot. It's like my subconscious didn't want to upset me! Today, I packed most of my food. Today, I declined going down to the cafeteria to get free food (which for me usually means overdoing it) and explained that I needed to stick to what I packed for myself. And then today, I mindlessly munched on whatever was in front of me. I just can't seem to get myself to stick with this. I keep telling myself on Mondays, "This week is my week." But that doesn't seem to help. I thought maybe when the month restarted, I'd start fresh and then I remembered that while eating a cookie. Maybe not the best timing. So, I'm going to do a little refresher course for myself - I'm going to count calories for a whole week and stay within my range. Next Wednesday, I take off for a conference [at Disney World] and I'm going to track all of my calories from now until then. It's going to be hard, but I'm thinking if I pack my food the night before and have all my calories tracked, it shouldn't be too much of a bother.

I've been pretty good about getting to the gym at least 3 days a week - I've even been doing weights during peak times because I deserve to be able to do weights too! I'm going to pack a gym bag every night too because though I planned on going with Nasur tonight, he ditched me for the dentist and then because I didn't have my stuff with me nor the motivation to go without him, I didn't go. If I had my stuff with me, I would have gone. So, it's worth keeping a packed bag in the car.

I'm also going to try to do a quick blog post every night to keep myself on track and motivated. But now I've gotta go pack some food. Cheers!

Day 10/365: The little things

Today, I found myself in the nurse's lounge. There, were a beautiful-looking selection of cookies. Absent-mindedly, I took one. There was also toffee. Absent-mindedly I took one of those. Later in the day, absent-mindedly I ate some jerky. Now, normally I wouldn't think about this, but I I realize all the little things add up. So, I'm going to try to do something about it. I'm going to be very mindful of my eating. I'm going to stop going to the free resident buffet for lunch because if I don't have to pay for it, I load up on all the wrong things and all the wrong portion sizes. I've packed up my blender and protein powders and am going to start having a protein shake for lunch rather than hitting up the buffet. I'm not going to do a protein shake everyday, but I'm going to try for at least every other day to start. Since I usually use milk, the shake will be about 200-250 calories. With some fruit and maybe goldfish crackers, that'll be a nicely proportioned lunch.

Wish me luck!

Successful first day

So, day one was a success! I tracked my calories all day and hit up the gym. I really didn't want to go to the gym because I have an oral exam on Wednesday (and am obviously nervous about it) and I had a headache, but I was all like, "Danika. It is day one. Get your shit together." So, there you have it - I got my butt to the gym. Also, my weigh-in today was pretty motivating. This is the heaviest I've been since 2010. Yikes.

Next week I'm going to Disney World [WOO!], so I'm setting a two-week goal of a 5 pound loss. If I hit my goal, I'm either going to buy a Happy Lamp or a tanning membership - I'm trying to help myself deal with the shitty lack of sunshine. I'm hoping that motivation and all the walking at Disney will get me back to the 240s.

In other news, my day was super boring. I scrubbed two surgeries and then tried reading at work. I have a hard time reading at work because I'm easily distracted, so I'm going to dig my headphones out of my gym bag and throw them back in my backpack so I can drown out the medical students.

Here are the rest of today's photos:

Breakfast: eggs, grapes, and ham

Lunch: chicken, egg roll, and plate o' salad

Studying and eating goldfish

I went to da gym!

Ate exactly half of this salad for dinner

Dinner: mini pizza + half of above salad

Catch you folks tomorrow!