Visualizing the wagon

Well, I started out okay. Went to the hospital to deliver a patient I adore and then went home and got ready for the office.  Opted to break my fast because we got bagels this weekend and still have a ton and I wanted to enjoy them before they spoiled. I also took leftover cake from this weekend to work to get rid of it/allow other folks to enjoy it. But, my already minimal willpower was not ready for the office. There were Godiva chocolates from a patient, so I had some. Also, I had a cookie leftover from the weekend I wanted to eat, so I ate that. I didn't have any cake, so maybe that can count as a win? I also hydrated more. And I worked out today, despite not wanting to. At first, I went to the gym only to realize I'd grabbed black scrub pants instead of black workout pants. So, I went home and did the elliptical in the basement and lifted some weights. 

So, I'd say I can see/visualize the wagon, but I'm not there yet. I'll give it another whirl tomorrow.

Gym switch coming!

Yesterday I elected to go to my normal gym since I was just going to do the treadmill. Today, however, I headed to the new gym. I got a free 3-day guest pass. Despite being there on Sunday, I was forced to do an official tour and learn about pricing and membership options. This was a bit of a time suck and it was a busy time at the gym, so I was stressed about whether or not I would get an opportunity to do everything I wanted to do. However, it was worth the time because I learned I could get a discount working for UCHealth that would bring my membership cost to $8.86/month. My mom could also get the top tier membership for free. I currently pay $25/month, so it'd save me some money. I like that. Also, I just feel like my workout was so much better today than it's been at the other gym. So, I'll finish up my free passes and then probably switch to that gym officially.

Tomorrow's going to be a full day and I'm going to have to try my hand at showering and getting ready at the gym after my workout, which I'm slightly anxious about because I prefer to do that at home. But I simply won't have the time to run home. We've got a house showing and then I have dinner at a fancy-ish place in Loveland right after. So, wish me luck! My gym bag is going to be hella heavy tomorrow, lol. Does that count as a pre-workout?

Also, for those of you who need a GI update. The wegovy explosions restarted last night and disrupted my sleep again. However, I took 3 tabs of imodium this AM and haven't had any issues since. I met with my obesity medicine doctor last Thursday and she thinks it's time to switch things up since the GI side effects really aren't sustainable. I'm going to trial Saxenda, which is a daily injection. It's in the same class of drugs, but we're hoping that by switching the actual med that maybe the GI side effects won't happen. I'd prefer not to explode if that's an option, but I really don't want to go it alone without meds because these meds really have taken a lot of the mindfuckery away from food. I have to wait until my GI tract recovers before I can make the switch, so I'll keep you updated.

Recent toothbrush photos to keep your interest piqued ;-)

Dropping a knowledge bomb

I'm just over here killing it with my activity goals and doing mediocre with my food goals. I got my 10k steps in every day last week, which is hard to do, especially on postcall days where I just want to be unconscious. I was also on call on Saturday and didn't get much sleep and I elected to just take my weekend to be lazy. I got back on it today though!

Today, when I got to the locker room at the gym, I realized I didn't bring my bluetooth head phones, my sweat towel, or my locker lock. This was not awesome because the audio quality with the junk pair of headphones I leave in my gym bag for such an emergency is very poor. Also, without my sweat towel, I don't have a good way to block the time or the timer of my work out and it makes the work out seems a million times longer. Also, I forgot my lock (I used it when we went swimming last week). Though I doubted folks would go looking for lockers with stuff in them, I was not thrilled with leaving my stuff unlocked. But, I figured I needed the exercise and I could risk one day. Well, I'm glad I did, because despite all of these things, my workout today felt really good.

In addition to my workouts helping my step count, one of the things my obesity medicine doctor said to me really stuck with me. I was talking about how I am a fairly anxious person, but that I really don't want to try any medications because, as a physician, with the use of medications, it massively increases the cost of my disability insurance and in some states, I have to declare that I'm using such medications. This is garbage, and I know this, but it's how I feel. Anywho, her response was that there is a ton of literature out there that says regular exercise has the same outcomes as medication in the treatment of anxiety and/or depression. So, yes, this is helping me get my steps, but I'm hoping it helps with my mental health too. Good knowledge bomb to drop.

I have been failing abysmally at taking pictures of my food. I'll try to be better tomorrow. I'm in the OR, though, so I don't know what my eating will look like tomorrow.

Starting off on the right foot

Today was better, but I feel as though that's typically the case on the first day of implementing some kind of change. Ask me in three weeks and I'll be able to honestly tell you how my lifestyle change is going.

Anywho, I'll do a better, more photo-packed entry tomorrow. But I need to head to bed now so I can have a productive Saturday. Cheers!

A History of my Eating Habits

So though I've shared some of my story of how I got so fat, I wanted to talk a bit more about what makes losing weight such a difficult thing for me.


I've been overweight for as long as I can remember. Yes, I do have pictures when I was skinny, but that was so long ago that I'm not sure it counts.

My brother Tristan, sister Malena, our dog Tessa, and (skinny) me

So where does it begin? Well, in addition to living a pretty sedentary life, I don't remember a time when I ate healthily. I was pretty young when I was able to tuck away entire quarter pounder meals from McDonald's. I could easily eat an entire bag of popcorn as a snack before bed in elementary school. And polishing off a bowl of ice cream would only make me want more.


As the pound crept on, I began to hate anything that required physical activity because I simply couldn't compete. I remember being mortified when we had to run a timed mile in middle school. And in the eighth grade, I clearly recall not being able to do one sit-up during a fitness test. So, instead of trying to do a sit-up, I probably just ate more.


I think I picked up all my bad eating habits in my youth. Growing up, my dad was always sick with migraines, and so we couldn't have chocolate in the house (chocolate has caffeine in it, which exacerbates headaches). But, when he was gone on business trips, my mom got us oreos - a delicious and simple pleasure for a kid. My sister, brother, and I would instantly turn into vultures the second the oreo packaging was open - we needed to eat as many oreos as possible because soon they would be gone. So, I never learned portion size.


At dinner time, my mom was always the first to finish her dinner. She said she picked up eating quickly when she was in college because she was always on the go. Well, because I was a somewhat competitive child (I blame it on middle child syndrome), I used to eat as fast as possible to beat her. So, I never learned to eat slowly.


On top of that, dinner was typically always at 6:00 p.m. And if you didn't eat then, you typically didn't eat at all. It didn't matter if you were hungry or not. So, I never learned to eat only when I was hungry.


Now, I'm not trying to blame this on my parents (especially because I know my mom reads this - love you, Mom!). Really, their eating habits were quite healthy, but I guess I just picked up some bad habits along the way, and they stuck.


But my eating habits are what make this whole journey to health a lot harder. It's difficult trying to undo 23 years of damage. I still have a hard time eating just one cookie. I still have to put a lot of effort in my portion sizes. I still have to really think about how hungry I am. But I'm making a little bit of progress everyday, and I credit a lot of it to SparkPeople.


SparkPeople.com is the website I use to track my calories - both eaten and burned off. They help me shoot for healthy ranges in terms of what I need to eat and in terms of how many calories I should be burning everyday. In fact, they'll even set up meals and exercise plans for you if you want them to. However, I like to have a little more freedom than that.

My SparkPeople home page - click to make it bigger

Another thing I'm trying to do is eat less more often during the day. Mark (my personal trainer) has really encouraged me to eat every 2-3 hours so that my blood sugar stays up and so that my body doesn't try to store what I'm eating for fear of not getting fed again. I also drink a lot of water during the day so as to shed some of that water weight.


Anyway, back to today. I don't have many pics of my food, but here are some of my portion-controlled and calorie-logged meals!

And now I must go to bed so I can be up early for the gym!


How are your eating habits? Do you struggle with anything?