A weigh-in and little victories

So today was the great weigh-in, except it wasn't so great.

Exactly 1.0 pounds down from 9 days ago

But, it was still a loss and I'm happy about that. I did binge on some cinnamon rolls on Friday. I also ate out for almost every meal this weekend. I tried to stick to healthy choices, but it's hard to know what you're really getting. I also didn't work out Saturday or Sunday. I was more active than usual, but definitely never really got my heart rate up. But instead of beating myself up about it, I'm going to keep going with my calorie tracking and my push to get myself to the gym everyday because last week I felt pretty good about myself and I deserve to feel that good about myself every week.

I don't have a lot of time for this post because I've got a presentation tomorrow (I think) and I need to work on that, but I wanted to give you my three goals for the week:

1. Keep on keeping on by getting to the gym as often as possible
2. No eating past 8pm
3. No eating on the couch or in front of the computer (with the exception of breakfast)

Now, here are some photos for you!

Breakfast

Snacks/lunch for work

Mango smoothie post strength training

Turkey and goat cheese meatballs

This was dinner + 1 more that was unsauced

This was just mediocre - the goat cheese was overpowering; gonna have to make some recipe changes

Today's positive: the turkey meatballs needed pesto and instead of driving down a few blocks to the nearby market to pick some up (since mine expired in 2013), I opted to walk. Little victories, friends. Little victories.

Another one of those posts...

Alright. I can't tell you how many times I've written posts like this. Well, I probably could if I wanted to take the time and look through all my old posts, but I don't want to do that. What I do like to re-read are nice e-mails, old text conversations, and old facebook conversations. Also, all the Harry Potter books. In fact, I re-read the entire Harry Potter series once a year (typically in the summer). Anyway, back to the original topic: posts that I write all the time.

I am not committed to this weight loss thing. I'm just not. I'm not saying that I don't want to be, I'm just saying that my current behaviors are mostly (like 99.7%) not conducive to losing weight. Here's a list as to why.

1. When eating out, I'm a free woman! Anything and everything! Calories be damned!
2. Packing food. I fucking hate it. I would rather have every single piece of my body hair tweezed out than pack a lunch, a snack, whatever it may be. I would rather re-do my surgery rotation for two years straight (which requires a 4:00 a.m. wake-up daily and multiple 24 hour shifts) than pack food. I would rather listen to someone chewing with their mouth open than pack food. However awful the thought that you're having is - I'd rather do that than pack good.
3. In the same vein, I hate cooking. It takes time. I don't want to think that far ahead.
4. Fast food and drive thrus are so damn convenient.
5. Giving a shit is so much harder than not giving a shit.

I know that all sounds pathetic and lazy and stupid, but I'm not sure how to recommit myself (again). I have been good about going to the gym, so there's that. Buuuuut, as far as controlling my eating, I struggle. And to be honest, I know there's no quick fix. I know it's hard. I know it sucks. And I know that in order to be committed, I need to talk about it with others. I know I need to log calories. I know I need to behave myself. I need to take pictures. I need to blog. I need to be effing shameless about my goals. But I also need to have goals. And they need to be realistic.

So, here we go:

1. Two pounds a week. My goal used to be three pounds a week when I had a personal trainer, but I had a lot more time to dedicate to exercise back in the day. So, I'm going to settle for two (WHICH IS STILL A LOT)
2. No eating after 8:00 p.m.
3. No drive thrus, fast food, or ordering take out. No. Bad. None. Don't even think about it.
4. Pack food. It's going to suck. I'm going to hate it. I'm going to bitch about it all the time. And then I'm going to post pictures, damn it.
5. BLOG. And then blog again. And when the world is caving in and all I want to do is do nothing, I will blog again.
• Currently, I would like to do a challenge called Motivational May where I blog every single day and write either one good thing about the day, one good thing about myself, or one good thing about someone else. You know, to motivate myself to see the positive a bit more cuz if I have to write something positive, I'll have to look for the positive more. IT MAKES SENSE.

So, I'm charging up my camera. And we're doing this. You and Me. Also, I'm doing a weigh-in tomorrow. DO NOT JUDGE ME FOR THE WEIGHT GAIN/we all start somewhere.