Negative Nancy, photos, and a weigh-in

So I haven't posted in a while. I'm not going to lie, it's mostly because I'm being super lazy right now. I'm on my radiology rotation which requires very little of me. Most of the time I sit there and watch the radiologists read films - it's basically watching someone else think (without them sharing what they're thinking) and since I haven't seen enough of normal, it's hard to point out abnormal. I mean, I can find the big things, but if it's teeny tiny (like a 3 mm lung nodule), I've got nothing. Anyway, on this rotation, I typically spend only a few hours at the hospital (the longest I've stayed is a bit over 5 hours) and then I go home and have little to do. Sure, I should go to the gym. And sure, I should work on my residency application. And sure, I should clean up my apartment, read about radiology, read about gynecology, and work on my suturing and tying, but when you sit and do nothing all morning, it's hard to make yourself do anything in the afternoon. So, for most of the last week, I've done nothing productive. Last week after my impromptu beach trip, I sat around a lot in the afternoons. Over the weekend, I hit up the beach because it was beautiful and on Monday and Tuesday, I hit up the beach in the afternoon again. Unfortunately, the awesome summer weather has ended thanks to this stupid cold front that has moved in.

Now I'm stuck trying to motivate myself to do pretty much anything. And to be honest, I've gotten in a Debbie Downer/Negative Nancy/Sad Sally/Mean Marvin mood (I just made up the last one because why is it only females that are sad?). I've had a hard time treating myself the way I need to be treated. I'm not 100% sure why I'm in a bit of a funk, but I'm pretty sure it's because applying to residencies is fucking terrifying and instead of facing it head on, I've been shying away, eating my feelings, and sitting doing nothing somewhat paralyzed with fear. But after giving myself some serious talking to and reconnecting with myself and my goals, I've told this inner negative Danika to shut the fuck up. Why don't I deserve to feel good? Why don't I deserve to to eat healthy? Why don't I deserve to workout hard? I've got to stop doubting myself and whether I deserve to feel great and I've gotta start believing that there's no reason why I shouldn't. 

With that, I'm happy to say that I hit the gym tonight. I didn't have to wear my ankle brace since I was just doing the elliptical and that doesn't stress out my ankle. Tomorrow, however, I'm going to go to Zumba for the first time since I sprained it (which was three weeks ago this past Tuesday) and I'm definitely going to wear the stupid brace for some added stability. I'm so excited to be going to Zumba again. I have missed it A LOT. If it hurts my ankle, I'll take it easy and modify, modify, modify.

And here are lots of photos for you. I also did a weigh-in (which is below). It was super hard for me to step on the scale knowing that I'd done a fair amount of damage recently. I'm going to start posting weigh-ins on my weigh-in page again so that I'm a bit more accountable. Cheers.

Today's weigh-in; next week's goal is 244.4

Breakfast

Got home late for lunch and was starving so I had to make a sandwich fast

The rest of lunch after I scarfed down the sandwich

Fueling up for the gym

Dinner

Individual guacamole - must get more!

Mango smoothie pre-liquefying

Dinner!

Today's positive: Believing in myself enough to know that I could get to the gym and crush it. 

Impromptu beach trip!

Today was 1000% exactly what I needed. I went to my radiology rotation this morning and had a doctor who actually wanted to teach. Woo hoo! At 11:30ish, he encouraged me to go to the residents' lecture at the other hospital and told me not to bother coming back after. So, I went to lecture, learned a few things about the radiological views of different types of arthritis and was free by 1 p.m. Soooo, since it was beautiful, I headed to Holland to go to the beach with a friend of mine (who lives in Holland).

The day was absolutely perfect for it. There was hardly anyone there (because school was in session), the weather was about 78°F, so it was awesome, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was so, so, so awesome and exactly what I needed to recharge and feel great. After we were done beaching it, we headed back to Chelsea's house to see Allyson (my friend from 7th grade who lives with Chelsea) and had some dinner, watched some TV, got some froyo and just hung out. It was awesome, awesome, awesome. 

And with that, I shall leave you. I think I'm getting sick (got a majorly sore throat and some mild ear pain), so I want to get into bed ASAP.

Weigh in, beach day, and burns

Today was absolutely wonderful. Though I was a bit late in getting up to get ready for the beach (shaving your legs takes a long time, folks), we eventually got there and it was lovely. I forgot my camera, so you'll have to take my word for it, but it was a beautiful day. There were some clouds in the sky, but that was nice. I was able to lay out without feeling like it was extremely hot. And I only burned in three areas, where I must've missed sunscreen: my upper thighs, the small of my back (I guess my bathing suit rode up a bit - I wear a two-piece tankini deal) and here:

Lovely. I'm not sure how I missed there...

We grilled out at my friend's place. We had hamburgers, some watermelon, some dips, and my fruit pizza. I forgot to take the corn I specifically bought for the grill out. Oops. And as I didn't take my camera, no pics for you. Another oops. I was very forgetful in my rush to get ready. 

But, I didn't forget to weigh in. Here's today's weight:

I'm glad the scale is going down. You can see some of my weigh-ins here. A little over a week and a half ago, I got on the scale after forgetting to weigh-in and having eaten and showered and it was going up to 238 and so I promptly hopped off without allowing it to get an accurate weight. So, I'm glad it's back down. I'd like to shoot for 232 by this time next week. I'm going to get there by spending a lot of time at the gym and being mindful of my meals.

Also, Bailey is getting a bit better with his pills. It only took one try each time I tried to pill him today. Twice, we had to use peanut butter. For his pill that he's supposed to take on an empty stomach, I just had to be super aggressive with him. Nevertheless, I will be calling the vet to see if she can do some compounding for me.

I'll update again tomorrow - hopefully with more pics!

Oh, and today's positive: Having my high school friends live nearby. It's great being able to spend so much time with them.

And today's other positive: Obviously we had some leftover fruit pizza. I left some with Allyson and Chelsea and took some home, which I was going to give my neighbors. But, they were out. So, I think I shall keep it for me and just eat it a little at a time. Typically, if there were a delicious dessert in my apartment, I'd scarf it all down immediately. But tonight I stopped myself reminding myself of how nice it'd be to have a little piece each day. Granted, it doesn't last long, but I could probably keep it another two days. Yay me. Photos tomorrow for you :-)