Day 15/365: Motivation Struggles

I keep reflecting on the things I did when I was successful with weight loss the first two times. Why? Because the weight is not coming off. And though that's mostly because I'm not doing the things I should be doing, it's because I'm not in the place I was when I lost the weight last time. The last two times I lost the weight, I had people cheering me on. The first time, it was all the women at Curves. It was having people weighing me in every week and having to count on being successful. The second time, it was my personal trainer and my blog community. I posted my food and weight loss photos. This time, though I have a bunch of people supporting me, I'm struggling to find the motivation probably because I don't have any accountability. If I feel like i'm gaining weight, I simply don't post. If I overeat, I'll share and then I'll halfheartedly write, "I'll do better tomorrow." But the thing is, tomorrow comes and I don't feel like doing better or I simply make an excuse as to why I can't do better. So, I've gotta let that go.

I video chatted with one of my friends today to talk about everything - to figure out how to help myself get in the swing of things. We went through all of my excuses and how to combat them. So, I'll rehash them for you and myself.

1. I'm tired after work. Well, so is everyone else. If you want it, you have to go get it. Grab life by the balls. Again, no one can stop a freight train full of fuck yeah

2. All the New Years people make it hard to work out the way I want. Well, suck it up. If you want a machine, ask for it. If your machine is taken, try again. It's not as though there aren't other ways to get a workout in. Grab life by the balls.

3. It's hard to eat healthy. Yeah, no shit. If it were easy, no one would be overweight. I've always read, "Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels." Well, I'm calling bullshit on that tone. But, I will say this: Nothing that makes you feel like shit about yourself is worth the taste.

4. I'm stressed. Yeah, well, residency is hard. Exercise does make you feel better and is a stress buster. Consider yourself lucky that you have a gym membership.

5. I need to study. So, do it after the gym. It's not as though it's going to go anywhere if it doesn't get done.

So, this week is a busy one for me: Tuesday I'm working late, Wednesday I've got a conference in the afternoon, Friday I'm working a 24 hour shift and Saturday I'm working a 24 hour shift. But, I'm going to work on hitting the gym during the week. And I'm going to throw some intermittent fasting into the mix even though it is so totally hard. Here's my plan:

• Monday - work, then gym for 45 - 60 minutes
• Tuesday - working late, then active rest day (maybe some light dancing at home)
• Wednesday - work, then gym for 45 - 60 minutes
• Thursday - work, then gym for 45 - 60 minutes
• Friday - 24 hour shift from Hell
• Saturday - Sleeping and then another 24 hour shift from Hell
• Sunday - Sleeping and going to the gym for as long as my tired body will let me

Best of luck to me! I'm going to try to post everyday this week even if it's just two sentences to let you know how I'm doing with my goals. I'm really going to push myself to help myself get back into the right mind set. I'm also going to do some fasting on Monday and Thursday to snap my body back into things. It scares me to try fasting again because I was really successful with it, but it really is hard and has blown up in my face when I do it wrong. So, uh, yeah, good luck to me.

Cheers!

Multitasking

So, I swore twice today. I didn't mean to. It's just ridiculously second nature. Does that mean I'm giving up? Heck no! I am trying to improve myself a little bit (and prepare for 3rd year where I'm dealing with patients all day and have to be professional), so I will keep at it.

Anyway. That's my update on my huge sacrifice that I made for Lent...

So this morning when I woke up, it was a bit later than it should have been...like 8:30. I really needed to get a lot of work done and contemplated skipping the gym. And then I said to myself, "No. You're making excuses. Just take some school work to the gym." So, I did my 45 minutes on the elliptical while reviewing some microbes. It was a pretty decent distraction. Usually, I bring my kindle and read and call it my non-school time, but I think it was a wise use of time and I'll probably bring school work on occasion - it's a good way to get in a quick review while breaking a sweat.

While I was on the elliptical, I suddenly remembered that we had a required waste of time session career development session and slightly panicked that I might be missing it. Fortunately, it wasn't until the afternoon and I was able to do all of my pharmacology flashcards during it. Woot, woot. Look at all that school work I did while doing other things.

So, tomorrow's Valentine's day. I'm sure all of you couply folk out there are excited. I, however, am excited because this year I got two Valentine's Day cards. That's two more than I got last year!

One was from my mom and the other from my friend Adam. I haven't thanked them yet (thought I'd save it for the actual holiday), but I really appreciated the small reminder that I'm loved. On days when you're literally studying all day (and even during your "me" time), those little reminders that people care about you go a long way.

And I'm sure you're all wondering, "But wait. What about a card from Nasur?" Well, I'm pretty sure it costs an arm and a leg to send things to America, so I'm not expecting anything. In fact, I wasn't even expecting to talk to him. We actually haven't talked since Saturday since we're both ridiculously busy. He's got national exams everyday (minus weekends) for the entire month of February and I'm frantically trying to learn how our lungs work, what kinds of lung cancer and tumors you can get, what kinds of bacteria colonize the lung, and the bajillion different types of pneumonias, pneumoconioses, and yeah...I'm busy. However, he sent me a long facebook message today saying that he misses me, that he's thinking about me, and that he hopes we can talk tomorrow since it's Valentine's day. Cute. Again, it's the little reminders that people care that make all the difference :-)

So, here are some photos for you from today's meals because I love you, too.

Breakfast of champions

Lunch of the victorious

Nutella for the winners

Nutella pancakes for those ranked #1

Also, buying Nutella just for my pancakes? Bad idea. Nutella is addictive and I should have avoided it at all costs. I'm not even going to talk about how much Nutella was simply transferred via spoon into my mouth [read: it was a lot].