So many questions - please help!

Well, it's been a while yet again since I've blogged. The good news is that once it becomes the magical month of September, I'll be able to blog some more. The bad news is that I'm still one ER shift away from said magic. I cannot continue to stress how much I hate the ER. I am so, so, so glad that there are nurses and techs and doctors who want to do that for a living because I will never, ever, no matter how much someone was willing to pay me, want to be an ER physician ever again. 

Okay, now that we've covered that, we can move on. The weight loss thing is still going pretty well. I really did enjoy being able to go to the gym before work this month because I think that's a great thing for your metabolism, but there's no way I'm going to be able to keep that up with 6:00 a.m. report times. To be honest, this is mostly to do with the gym hours. The gym doesn't open until 5:00 a.m. and there's no way I can fit my workout, shower, breakfast, and commute into an hour. However, I was thinking about signing up for a free 30-month subscription to Daily Burn and trying some at-home workouts before starting my day. Has anyone tried it? If you have, please give me your thoughts!

I'm still fasting twice a week. In fact, I fasted today since my stomach was a bit off before I went in to work and not eating may have been a good thing. It was slow as fuck at work today, which makes fasting harder than when work is just passing you right on by. However, I was able to stay in my calorie goal for my fasting days if you don't count the half a handful of chocolate chips I just ate because I was super craving something sweet and that was the only thing handy.

Other than that, I'm working on some things in my personal life: budgeting, studying, and getting ready for my third board exam. I just spent the last few weeks trying to figure out how to set a good budget for my income (residents get paid less than minimum wage if you divide our salary by our 80-hour work weeks), how to fit in some studying throughout the day, and how to apply for my last set of boards (for a little while). For me, if you take your third set of board exams within the first 18 months of residency, the program will pay for it. Sooo, yup. Definitely going to take advantage of that. That's $815 I won't have to worry about.

I'm also getting ready for my friend's wedding in October. She recently asked me to officiate her wedding in addition to being a bridesmaid. So, if anyone has ever done that and has some thoughts, I'd be happy to hear them.

For now, that's about it. I'll weigh-in tomorrow and do a post on my weight loss while celebrating being done with the ER for life!!!

Asking for help

I do an awesome job of sticking to my goals until...Thursdayish. It's the same thing over and over again: I set goals at the beginning of the week, see them through until around Thursday, get upset with myself for eating like I'm going to go into hibernation, and vow to do better next week. That's really gotta stop. The only problem is that I'm not sure how to get it to stop.

Every time I've lost weight successfully, I've had some kind of aha moment. The first time I ever tried losing weight, I lost around 68 pounds after I nearly didn't fit into a roller coaster at Cedar Point. The second time I dedicated myself to losing weight, I lost around 50 pounds after deciding that my year off would be my year to get healthy (and having a personal trainer helped shame me into losing weight). Now I'm lacking that aha moment. I want to get healthier for Anna's wedding. And I didn't exactly love the way I looked in pictures from over my holiday break, but I'm lacking motivation.

That being said, I'm going to have to drudge it up from somewhere. I was thinking here would be a good place. I've asked some of my close friends to read my blog to keep me accountable. And I was thinking about asking my old personal trainer (and now close friend) to help me out a bit too. It's just still difficult for me to ask for help, you know? Because given that I'm going to be a doctor, I should be on top of all my shit...or so people think. But really I'm usually just silently insulting myself for not being on top of everything and wishing that I were better in some way or other.

I'm looking forward to feeling healthier and stronger. And I'm so, so glad I've got some friends who are going to help me out along the way. This is seriously one hell of a journey...and it never ends.

Anywho, food porn for your viewing pleasure:

Breakfast: egg and cheese sandwich, apple, and grapes

Morning snack: protein yogurt and fiber bar

Afternoon snack: pretzels and raspberry protein yogurt

Cooking dinner is rough in a baby-size kitchen

Final product: roasted broccoli and homemade parmesan chicken teners

Tonight's portion

This looks so much bigger once clean

Tomorrow's lunch: English muffin pizza, grapes, and clementines

Tomorrow's morning snack

Tomorrow's afternoon snack (glasses not included)

Thanks to those of you who are following along. Knowing I'm not alone makes things a lot easier.