Bingeing, goals, and some good news!

So I'm going to come out and say it: I've been binge eating. I signed up for my third board exam just over a week ago and instead of going into productivity mode, I've gone into "I'm going to fail, so I better procrastinate and what's a better way to procrastinate than by eating all the things?" mode. That's not the best mode to be in, let me tell you. And it's been going on too damn long and man oh man have I been feeling the effects of it. I'm exhausted in the afternoons, I've been feeling physically sick, and I'm lazing around like it's my job. I've finally decided to screw that. I don't need to be exhausted, there's no reason to make myself feel physically sick, and my job is to work. So, I'm going to do that.

Today starts what I'm calling my two week challenge. I'm going to do two things in my two week challenge: work out 5 days a week and only eat one serving size when I eat. Bam. I'm not going to restrict myself to what I'm going to eat - I'm just going to be sensible when I'm eating. I'm going to treat myself with the respect I deserve. So, good for me.

In other news, Nasur's fiancé visa petition was approved on Monday (which was also my mom's birthday, but felt a little bit more like mine given the good news)! This means that Nasur will hopefully be in America in the next 3-4 months. Woo hoo! It also means that he and I have to get married within 90 days of his arrival. Meh. I've never been the type of woman to be super pumped about weddings. Like I never sat and planned mine as I was growing up and to be honest, I still don't really give a shit. I don't want to plan something in 90 days, so we're thinking it'll be a little courthouse thing and we can have a fun reception that is a true celebration once we have money/have more than 90 days to plan something. We'll see. It's a ways away, but is also coming up quickly.

But, back to the real point: Nasur will be here. Given that he's never been to America and lives in one of the world's poorest countries, I'm sure it'll be culture shock after culture shock after culture shock - perhaps we could call it culture electrocution? But I'm so glad he'll be here. He's super supportive, pushes me to do better for me, gets me no matter what mood I'm in, and is a very positive person. He can also flip the switch with me when I need to be serious Danika versus singing, dancing, goofy Danika. It's super nice having someone who can be anything you need. He's also incredibly selfless - he's always thinking about me and my happiness, like waaaaay more than I ever think of anyone else. All in all, I'll be glad to have him. He's also already very aware of my food issues and knows that he's going to have to make the gym and healthy eating part of his lifestyle too. And what's more, he's already thinking of ways that he can help. Like I said, he's pretty great. So, I hope the government can move quickly so I can have him here soon.

I also kinda want to look awesome when he arrives. Not for him, per se, because really, he thinks I'm the bomb diggity already, but for me. I want him to know he's going to be with someone who can set goals and then see them through. So, I'm packing up my gym bag tonight to throw into my car and getting ready for an awesome Monday and an awesome day two of my two-week challenge.

Also: I'm super proud of myself already for setting a realistic goal - with my current schedule, there's just no way I can make it to the gym every day. So, instead of setting myself up for disaster and then getting upset and bingeing about my failure, I'm making a goal that will be challenging and realistic. Bam. A step in the right direction!

Look for a weigh-in tomorrow even though I really don't wanna ;-)

One of my favorite pictures of me and Nasur

Today's lunch: ham and cheese sandwich, pretzel pieces (1 serving size!) and dill pickles