This post has been a while coming. I keep starting to write something and then stop because I need to run and do something else or because I don't want to commit to another thing when I've got plenty of other things going on in my life. But I keep coming back to my blog and watching the cursor blink at me, and I've finally made the decision to come back. Who knows how long I'll stick around this time or how often I'll write real posts, but I need to come back and talk about my weight to someone/anyone/anything that opens this page and reads.
I need to lose weight again. My pants that I bought at the beginning of the year are beginning to get uncomfortably tight. My arms are getting really mushy and I'm losing a lot of my confidence (not that I had an overwhelming amount of confidence to begin with). Also, I'm going to be the maid of honor in a wedding this June and I don't want to be the fat friend in all the photos.
That being said, there are a lot of obstacles standing in the way of success. First of all, I work everyday (and sometimes overnight and sometimes weekends) for usually 13 hours. Then I'm supposed to spend a sizeable chunk of my available time studying. And squeezing in gym time is difficult to do. It's not that I can't, it's just that sometimes I would rather just get home and start studying so I can get to bed at a reasonable hour. Also, going to the gym after work is only the most popular time to go so it's hard to find room in the weight lifting area. And knowing me, I'm not about to get up any earlier than I already have to. I mean, the gym opens at 5 and I have to be at work at 6:30, so there's really no way to do that.
The next obstacle after work/gym hours is food. I hate, hate, hate packing lunches. I'd rather run home and make something that I'm actually craving at the time than guessing at what I'll want the next day. But I can't run home during the day. I've been incredibly spoiled the last few years in that rarely did I ever have to pack a lunch. But now I need to pack one everyday. So, I suck it up and pack a lunch. But, that doesn't mean I want to eat it the next day. Most the residents and other students buy food from the hospital cafeteria which looks far more appetizing than does the food I pack for myself. Now I don't bring money with me to work so that I don't even give myself the option of buying cafeteria food, but man do I wish I could buy my lunch.
Another obstacle with food is that some days there's tons of free food and it's hard to say no. On the days where I actually put forth the effort to track my calories, I sometimes end up adding extra unlogged calories by snacking on whatever's available. I don't even have to like it. I just see free food and I go crazy. Something in me snaps and I want to eat as much as possible just because that means that I can save some money.
Okay, so now that we know what will be difficult, I need to think about some strategies to help me through those rough patches.
First of all, I am going to pack a gym bag everyday and change clothes at work so that I can just head to the gym right after work rather than letting myself go home and hoping I don't lose motivation. I'm also going to try to be realistic about how often I'm going. I'd like to go about 3-4 times a week.
I'm also going to try to take pictures of all of my food again. It's tedious, but I think it helps keep me motivated. Also, I think it will help me keep some variety in my diet. I tend to eat a lot of the same things and if I have to post pictures, it might motivate me to take pictures of something new everyday.
I'm also going to post my weight again. You'll probably see a nice big bump up tomorrow since I kind of ate like I would be going into hibernation today. I kind of figured it would be my last "bad" day. So, I went a tad overboard. Shocking, I know.
Okay. That's it for now. Thanks for listening.
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