On Wednesday, we had family photos. We try to color coordinate annually and often end up doing either white and blue or maroon, white, and blue. This year was a slight variation: maroon and blue only. When I peeked in my closet on Monday in preparation for these photos, I had some things that could work, but the fit wasn't great. Since resuming my weight loss journey about two years ago, I've lost 50 pounds. Thus, things don't quite fit the same. That being said, my time is very limited these days and so I had about two hours the day of photos to go shopping. I first stopped at Maurice's and was happy as a Larry to discover that I could shop on their plus size side as well as in the larger sizes on their "normal" side. Despite this, I only found one shirt that would maybe work. But, it was an XL instead of a plus size! Next, I stopped at Lane Bryant. This is a store solely for us plus size ladies. I found a lot of good stuff there and pulled my usual size. Carla, one of the sales ladies, helped me get into a room and I asked if she'd be willing to run to get me new sizes as I'd lost some weight and had avoided going shopping for a while now. She agreed and then I put on my normal size and was pleased to discover it was large on me. She had a lot of running to do to help me find things that fit well and I spent hella money. Now I have a bunch of 14/16 clothes. For reference, I started this journey in a 22/24.
Now, I've lost a significant amount of weight before and then gained most of it back, so I don't know if it was this shopping experience, but I've been in my head a ton lately about gaining it back. Despite being consistent with my healthier changes - meeting a 10k step goal every day for 134 days, eating more fruit, trying to hydrate as much as possible - I've been eating outside of my norm this week. I've been eating more often (I've been so. hungry. all. the. time.) and eating things I would normally try to minimize eating. And I haven't done my usual, "Well, I've already fucked the day, so I may as well keep going," thing that I would normally do, but I've been disappointed in myself. I also haven't done much more than my 10k steps per day this week in terms of exercise. There was one night when I could have watched my TV while walking on my Peloton, but I just wanted to veg. So, I did.
This morning, in my attempt to pull myself out of this funk, I did a 30 minute Peloton session and did some running and was able to do it without wanting to die, which is an accomplishment. I don't know why, given that it'd been a week since my last intense workout, that I didn't think I could do it, but I was pretty convinced of my suckiness before starting. So, being done was really nice.
I'm still kind of in this mind fuck and so we'll see where this week takes us!
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